12.10.09

just another day .

weeeeeeeell , today was a regular day .
we talked like an almost regular day .
then i missed his call when i was in the shower .
blaaah . whatever .
were okay i guess ,
it could always be better to me .
but its um , tolerable .
im annoyed with feelin like "one of tha boo's"
im not nobodys fuckin boo .
lol , shit .
i been around longer then most a these btches im ready to start droppin
hoes 0:]
BUT
i can't dictate his life . he's not my man , so he's free to do as he
pleases .
blaaaaah .
i wish i could tolerate uglyness .
if i could id have me a ugly nigga on lock .
lol .
jp , kinda .
anywaaaaaaays .
my birthday is in TWO DAYS ! woopwoop !
o c t o b e r 1 4 t h ! :)

ill be 21 and still NOT where im supposed to be . smh .
all i need is my car & i can pull everything else together .
indeeed . with time ill be back on my shit .
everybody gon be mad when big badd ass angelica the paralegal step in
the room continuing to shut shit down and steal yo nigga wit a blink & a
smile .
OUCH !

might have to steal my own back shit lol .
he's steal talking about having a family which means a FUTURE , which is
always a good thing :)
no high hopes . bc just cus i want it to happen it wont .
im nt fenna jinx it .
i guess its better he wanna fck around with other btches while we apart
rather than together . . .
blaaaaah .
i wanna hit fast forward on life already .
i feel 17 .
i wanna be 25 with a life & career .
pregnaant or engaged .
something worth life .
something substantial .
i refuseeee to be a bbymma , single parent , on state assistance , by
myself , working a mall job , any of tht shit by the time i past 25 .
no offense to those that do live that life .
but that's just my personal preference for my life .
ill be damned .
it prolly wont even happen that way .
but i wanna be engaged , with kids on tha way , with a mortgage (or
condo at least lol) and a car note & career .
how bout it ???
sounds good .
hopefully that'll be what's happening in the next four years .
if not , eh . . . oh well , we all have hopes lol .
im fenna knock . school in tha am . nite nite .

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