withheld emotions .

so im most famous for my extreme emotional posts.
I've been trying to withhold myself from doing so ,
but i have nuthing better to do than vent .
i miss him like crazy .
today i didn't have school and btween trying to force myself to sleep
for as long as i could ,
i couldn't keep my mind off him .
i found myself fantasizing about cuddling .
kissing him , holding him , feeling his breath on my neck ,
his hands on my body , his 'i love yous' in my ear .
:) intense , i know .
im scared to get my hopes up that he's coming home in a month bc if he
doesn't ill be crushed .
when i reminisce on memories , my eyes tear .
I've been doing good tho .
when i get sad i end up talking his cousins ear off talking about him
but i appreciate him for listening cus he never complains
he just lets me talk and says nice things.
i feel good loving james and being able to tell people how much i do .
i never felt this good in my life , even apart i can still feel his love
i can feel him missing me . i know he misses me .
i wanna run and jump into his arms .
give him endless love and just get stuck there .
i never get tired of being in love , or giving it .
i never get tired of the butterflies or tha smiles ,
tha laughs or tha high i get from his love .
i know its real :) its real ! lol
i never thought id find it .
i been lied to , played , cheated on ect. while all believing i was in
love .
and i was . but i was in love by myself . i can't say tht the
niggas tht claimed to love me didn't , bt im gonna say that i know they
didn't love me anywhere neaaar the way james loves me .
he's one of a kind .
i swear to god i wouldnt rather be with anyone else in the world .
i wouldnt trade him for a million dollars lol .
he really makes me the happiest girl in the world .
im thankful that i have such a wonderful person as my man .
im more than happy to share my life with him .
im his world and he's my universe :) lol .
ok ok , im done wit all tha sappy shit ahaha.
but i love him tho .
and i can't wait for you to come home baby :-*


better than yesterday .

well its been about a week or so since my last post .
i guess im overdue for up an update lol .
im still gaining followers so i gotta give yall some sort of
entertainment , yea?
soooo, 1st & foremost , i got tha best news EVER today !
my babys supposed to get out next month on tha 15th :-D
yaaaaaaaaay !
mann when his cuzin told me tht , i coulda jumped up in tha middle of my
final and screamed joyyyy ! lmao .
im ecstatic ! not for me but for him .
his baby his due at the end of next month and i know how much he wants
to be there .
i don't have to wait 8 months to see him :) well , out of jail .
i wouldve visited him bc i wouldve had to , but i know i woulda cryed at
the end of every visit and i didn't want him to be sad .
he's only been gone 10 days and I've already written him 3 letters lol
i miss the fuckity fuck outta my babe .
my world isn't the same without him .
im just happy he's coming home , i hope everything works out right .
I've been praying everynight .
in other news , its finals week . tmmw is day 2 .
all i have to do is turn in my philosophy paper and thts my final , so
ima take the time to type my english final paper so i can turn tht in
tmmw also , cus otherwise id have to go allll the way back weds just to
turn that paper in .
then my last final is thurs for anatomy then im donee with skool til feb

idk what my winter breaks gonna be like .
it wont be what i planned bc originally i was supposed to spend tha
holidays with my babe bt i guess that'll be back in january . i have a
month with him before skool starts again . i just really wanna spend our
time together .
idk what's fenna happen but i just want for everything to find its way
and work out right .
god is good , all the time . ill keep everything in my prayers .
but im fenna hit tha sheets cus i gotta wake up in tha am .
gn , blog famm :)


nine months .

til i see him .
he's gone .
where ?
jail .
its not his fault , well not really .
i wont go into details cus all of that isn't relevant .
i miss him and he's only been gone a little over 24 hours .
idk what im fenna do without him for nine months .
i just got him back and now he's gone again :(
ima ride for my baby tho , im not leaving him .
no desire to , nine months isn't forever
just a pause . we still have many years left .
pray for him yall .
i know it hasn't hit me as hard as it could yet so im waiting.
i miss him like fuck man .
smh .
guess ill keep yall posted .
be back sooner than later .


oops ,

lol my dumbass got sidetracked n forgot to attach the picture , here's a
pic tho . hope yall like it :)

updatee .

heyyy my lovess .
i knoww i been slackinn on myposts ,
mostly bc i been super lazy & nt much to complain abt lol
me & james are doing absolutely wonderful .
were in love & happy .
too bad something seems as though its about to become
another obsticle to get over . . .
not fenna go into details just yet tho .
but im solid . we`re solid .
that's my love :)

in other news ,
i finally got my septum pierced !!
im happy .
for those who don't know wht tht is its tha little piece of skin &
cartilage btwn your nostrils .
i personally think its cute on the right person :)
and I've gotten a lot of compliments bc nt a lot of ppl
can pull it off lol .
james doesn't care for it lol ,
neither does too many other guys lol
bt idc cus i like it :)
and my reason for choosing this over any other face piercing
is bc i wanted anoother one bt i have to start job serching again and i
dnt want spacers all in my face cus i already have a regular nose ring
I've already had my lip pierced before bck in 12thgrade .
and i dnt like eyebrow piercings
i liked the septum bt it was risky . im bold tho lol .
plus its easy to hide bc i can just flip it up into my nose :)
so far so good , its itching the bajeeezus outta me right now and i cnt
scratch it :( but yeaa ,
that is all .
next week is my last week of this semester then finals !
woot woot !
OH YES ! & how could i forget ! i bought my car !!!!!
yaaaaaay , its getting minor things fixed and then im dmv bound
hopefully next week :) .
but ummm yea that's about all .
im not content bt happy .
I've been waiting to feel like this since .. ..
f o r e v e r ! lol .
everythings coming together like i prayed ,
god is good , alll the time :)
gnitee yall , i got skool in tha am .