smh .

im doing it again .
im trying so hard to let go and move forward .
ive convinced myself i need to but i still find myself
looking at pictures or reading how he felt months ago .
i know everything happens for a reason or the way its supposed to but idk how something so perfect went so wrong .
smh .
its crazy , reading how he felt when i fucked up .
it still makes me tear up cus i feel like i couldve not fkd up and maybe things would stiill be perfect . . .or maybe they wouldnt and we'd still be where we are today .
i dont even know if he still loves me the same .
i think ive pushed him so much he doesnt care anymore .
i wanna cry , but that would be pointless . tears dont solve anything .
i guess this is just finishing off my growing process .
all my "heartbreaks" before added up still doesnt amount to the pain i feel without him .
i cant even grasp why it hurts so damn bad .
i cant even let go .
smh . whatever tho , it is what it is .
i just hope hes happy .
im trying .


daaaayyyuuummm .

lol , i haven't blogged in foreveeeer . i know my followers are mad =/
soooo sorry . my tumblr is jst much more carefree , this is sort of more
like myyy venting/ love life crisis diary but i still love it . i misss
you guys so let me catch you up :

so , im finally happy . and it took me to realize it on my own for me to
acknowledge it smfh . i realized happiness is a state of mind ,
something you choose to be not something your born with or something tht
comes to you . all this time i been "looking" for happiness ,
complaining about how im never happy never realizing all i had to do was
choose to be . i KNOOOOOW i KNOOOOOOOW that makes me sound soo stupid
but seriously , if someone ever presented it to me in that way before ,
i woulve got it . i always got tht happiness comes frm within and blah
blah but im thinkin i dont FEEL happy so im not , why come im not
finding it ? no one said oh happiness is a state of mind . lol , that
makes me sound so dumb bc every emotion is a state of mind but happiness
just seems like something more . but oh well , i finally decided to jst
be happy and stop losin everyone with my sadness , so fk all yall tkn
shit lol .

in other news , im still a broke ass strugglin college student , blah !
i have about 5 weeks of skool left . no money for gas , no money for
insurance , and still makin it happen smh . i went to an interview for
applebees AND got called back but NOOOOO , they need daytime ppl and my
skool fkd up my schedule bc i couldn't change it >:o so there went
another job down the drain smh . i cnt wait til summer . i have to find
a job or ima go craaaaazy lol .

i digress , i know yall wonderin abt me & james . ummm , its complex bt
you know what im happy . we go through what we go through , shits fkd up
but at the end of the day , our love doesn't break . our friendship
doesn't break . we fuss , we fight , we leave , we come back , we love .
lol . its crazy but i wouldnt change it for the world bc regardless of
all the bullshit we go through can't nobody put a smile on my face like
he does lol . we can tlk shit to each other and laugh . we can be open
and honest w. each other . we can agree to stp talkin then 5 days later
start back and tlk about how much we missed each other and love each
other . the biggest thing I've learned in this relationship is how
important timing is . it isn't that he doesn't love me bc i know he does
but the timing for our relatonship isn't right . and that's something i
had to understand . its nt that he doesn't wanna bewith me bc he don't
love me , its bc were on two different levels in the relationship . i
can understand that and that's something i have to respect . if its
meant for us to be together , we will be . ill live . i been tlkn to
other niggas bt ill save tht for another day :)

&&btw , if you nt followin or readin "i am tha unpretentious narcissist"
(www.thainfamousnobody.blogspot.com) OMFG followwww ! read ! do somn ,
lol i just started following like last month but the shit he says is so
on point i had to go back and read alllll his old posts . lol . he jst
started following me back 8-) , so if your reading this kudos! and
everything you say is the dead truth cus i can name a whole grip a sht
I've related to my relationship tht yu hit right on head . you really
helped me understand a lot of the shit my ex did and does . you need
your own show lol .bt that's all . i love everybodyyyyy , be back soon .


another simp ass story .

--------------------- 1:  34 am --------------------------------
eric .:  Suxx cuhz I was low ball really feelin u but hey it is wat it
pntbttr x jellie:  yeaaa well , i dnt really feel the connection i
should so im nt fenna waste your time or mines .
eric .:  [AWAY] Can't trust that bitch
eric .:  I mine we really ant talkd like that but I guess after u seen
me u got everything u needed to kno
eric .:  But shit could be diff if u gave me the chance u really ant
got the real me yet
pntbttr x jellie:  well in my opinion we've tlkd enough . and us
chillin shoulda gave me more than enough reason and it didn't soo , yea
eric .:  [AWAY] Can't trust that bitch
eric .:  Well like I said u still ant got the real me
pntbttr x jellie:  i haven't got the real you yet bt im givin you the
real me . your nt going to hold my attention .
pntbttr x jellie:  if you were id know . your nt .
eric .:  When u came over them bein around made me hold bak alil
eric .:  I am
pntbttr x jellie:  the way you act around other people should be the
same way yu'd act around me .
eric .:  And I kno I can
eric .:  Naw it's a diff around them 3
eric .:  And how beautiful u r made me low key nervis
pntbttr x jellie:  nah , im cool . plus i dnt really have the time or
gas to drive out there to chill w. yu so yeaa
eric .:  [AWAY] Can't trust that bitch
eric .:  I mean I kno for shore I can keep u attention
eric .:  Just gotta let me
pntbttr x jellie:  so that shouldn't change the vibe i felt . you can't
change a vibe . im nt feelin what i got . i knw what i want and what i
don't . and if im not feelin it . im just not .
eric .:  But after u seen me u shut me out
eric .:  And that's when shit really was gone happen
pntbttr x jellie:  bc i don't feel anything and yyou do .
eric .:  [AWAY] Can't trust that bitch
pntbttr x jellie:  please dnt make me have to reiterate .
eric .:  The vibe I gave off was me holdn bak cuhz of them
-------------------------------- 1:  44 am
eric .:  They fkcd my vibe up
pntbttr x jellie:  nah .
eric .:  That's why I hate bein around them
pntbttr x jellie:  you cnt blame that on nobdy else .
pntbttr x jellie:  cus yu really cnt convince me youd be tht much diff
nt around them .
eric .:  trust im extreamly different im more exsitting
eric .:  And liive
eric .:  I was borin when u cam over
eric .:  I was a super diff person
pntbttr x jellie:  okay weeell , 1st impressions don't go anywhere .
eric .:  [AWAY] Can't trust that bitch
eric .:  Was u feelin me befor u seen me be real
pntbttr x jellie:  why would yu be boring the 1st time we kicked it and
then try to convince me to do it again bc your cuzins and uncle messed u
pntbttr x jellie:  i was .
pntbttr x jellie:  its nt about seein you . your nt ugly . you just dnt
hold my attention .
eric .:  Trust like they make me nervis they so judgmental
eric .:  And that's the thing im such a live fun filld person im totaly
diff from wat I gave off
eric .:  I wish I just had the chance to show u
eric .:  Cuhz I kno we could work
pntbttr x jellie:  soo you were so concerned abt what they thought that
it hindered you frm being you ? that's nt a quality im looking for .
eric .:  [AWAY] Can't trust that bitch
eric .:  Im not concerned about wat they think I was scared about wat
they was gone say bkuz them niggas have no respect
eric .:  And I didn't want them to say no dum shit and I woulda had to
go hard so it had me on my toes and I fkcd up
pntbttr x jellie:  you weren't concerned bt yu were scared .
pntbttr x jellie:  another quality im nt lookin for .
eric .:  And when u left I was like damn she didn't even get to see the
real me
eric .:  Not scared like im scarey scared like if these niggas say
somethin dum im gone go off and its gone be a fight
eric .:  When u left they was like so why u didn't fkc her
pntbttr x jellie:  yeaaa well . im sorry bt it only takes one time for
me to get disinterested and to be honest , i am . so im sorry things
turned out that way . maybe next time you wont mess up and let what your
family does keep you frm being you .
eric .:  [AWAY] Can't trust that bitch
eric .:  And im like I really like this girl I wanna take it for with
her and im not bout to mess it up but guess I have
pntbttr x jellie:  who cares that's what niggas say , bt they know you
didn't bc i wouldnt let you obviously .
eric .:  No bkuz they felt like I shoulda pushd it on u
pntbttr x jellie:  idc what they thought .
eric .:  They dum af that's why im like wtf they gone say next and it
thru me off puttn my attention in u
pntbttr x jellie:  none of that matters bc how i feel now isn't the
same . you messed up your own 1st impression .
eric .:  But im not that person u met
eric .:  [AWAY] Can't trust that bitch
-------------------------------- 1:  54 am
eric .:  U kno wat u right its my fault can't blame it on them
pntbttr x jellie:  okay well you can't blame your cuzins for your
actions .
eric .:  Im sorry I waistd ur time
eric .:  Just saw how beautiful u was and got stucc
pntbttr x jellie:  you didn't . can't say we didn't try . its a lesson
learned .
pntbttr x jellie:  thank you and as for the next pretty girl dnt make
the same mistake twice .
eric .:  Its not a lesson learned cuhz I kno we would work together
eric .:  But yeh
pntbttr x jellie:  it was a lesson learned bc you fkd it off . and you
know that but i don't . but okaay .
eric .:  [AWAY] Can't trust that bitch
pntbttr x jellie:  goodnite k . i got skool in the mornin .
eric .:  Smh
eric .:  Its wild ull never see the real me
eric .:  But night
pntbttr x jellie:  okay bt is that my fault bc you held yourself back?
or your fault ? always be the real you . don't bullshit people or
situations . you only have one shot most of the time . sleep on it . gn
eric .:  [AWAY] Can't trust that bitch
-------------------------------- 2:  02 am
eric .:  Sleep on it just gone make me feel like shit and sometimes
shit happens and it was my first time seein u u beautiful to me and I
was star struck like im the guy u want the guy u was feelin befor u seen
me just messd up but u shoulda atleast gave me the secound chance to
prove my self


there's nothing i hate more than drunk ass rambling people .

there's nothing i hate more than my mom drunk tryna tell me about my
life . and her opinions about shit .
i didn't fuckin ask you !
don't sit here and tell me about the niggas i talk to and why im by
myself . and im "hardheaded" bc i don't wanna listen to you tell me
about my life .
yea yea okay you have experience in life and love but I KNOW wtf is
going on in my life . if i wanted to talk about it id fuckin bring it up
to talk about . IDGAF about your past relationships and blah blah . YOUR
life is NOT mines ! stop tryna tell me how to live my life . i wanna
make my OWN mistakes . make my OWN decisions . she gon tell me im by
myself bc i don't listen. NO . NO . and HEEELL NO . im BY MYSELF bc i
CHOOSE to be . don't ever get the game fucked up ! im nt fenna settle
for no nigga tht wanna be wit me just bc they wanna be wit me . FUCK
that . im fenna be wit who I WANNA be with and if it fails then ill try
again wit the next mtfka ! ughhhhhh , she got me so irritated . there's
nothing i hate more then somebody tryna tell me about my life or someone
in it they don't know . like u never met him , you only heard abt him
and situations . don't sit and judge shit when u don't know his life ,
his struggles and the shit he go through . that's where my understanding
comes from and your ignorance cuts in . if you don't know ALL the facts
, simply DON'T speak on it . and that's straate drop .


stalker ass wierdo type shit .

** DISCLAIMER : don't judge how long the convo went on lol , i was bored
& this kinna shit is pureee entertainment .

youngtriff: U still got a bf
pntbttr x jellie: who is this
youngtriff: youngtriff signed on at 12:58 am.
youngtriff: U prob dnt even rember me I met u like las summer

<i>[sidenote : my 1st impression ; why tf are you hitting me up 3
seasons later if you already think i wont remember you and why does your
1st question pertain to my relationship status? smh proceed . .]</i>

pntbttr x jellie: righhht .
youngtriff: Jus wonderin if u was still in a relttionship
pntbttr x jellie: where at?
youngtriff: I threw a bbq
pntbttr x jellie: nah .
youngtriff: Kame n picked u and ur friends up

<i>[ ok , this is my cuzins ex bf's friend , she had me hit him up to
pick us up bc her phone was dead . i don't know this dude , nvr met him
so idk why he's sayin it like i personally asked him to come get us

youngtriff: U remember?
pntbttr x jellie: yea i do .
youngtriff: Oook kool I. Be seen u on line butt u was always in a
relationship so I was wonderin if u was still tied dwn
pntbttr x jellie: oh . nah im nt bt im nt really lookin either .
youngtriff: I feel you n I dnt blame you jus tryna build my friends up
pntbttr x jellie: ohh . k
pntbttr x jellie: yu always look for friends at 1am ?
youngtriff: Ok u want me 2 be 100 %
pntbttr x jellie: uh yea tht would be a start
youngtriff: 4 real when I met you I thought u was kute but u had a dude
n I respected it I be seeing u on line but I never really knew wht to
say kuz I dnt kno if u would remember me plus u still had a dude so I
still wasn't trya kum between but like u said u ain't lookin for a
relationship I really not either but I would like 2 get to know u as a

<i>[whoa .]</i>

pntbttr x jellie: oh okaay .
youngtriff: Sound real enough 4 u
pntbttr x jellie: yeaa . bt it would be nice if i really remembered you
pntbttr x jellie: i mean i remember yu pickin us up , bt i dnt really
remember you .
youngtriff: Ok I kan try 2 refresh yo mem prob won't help
pntbttr x jellie: your right
youngtriff: I mean ain't really to much I only remember you because you
not somethin I would for get and I went to picl y'all up

<i>[timeee outttt ! why the fk is he so illiterate ? for get ? w. a
space ? mannn . i digresss]</i>

pntbttr x jellie: ha , didn't know i was unforgettable .
youngtriff: Lol
youngtriff: Unforgetable That's what u r lol

<i>[lol @ him tryna compliment me .]</i>

pntbttr x jellie: really now . and why is that
youngtriff: You was real nice polite said thanks for the ride stayed for
the event even when u was ready 2 go for ur friends jus little things
pntbttr x jellie: wow , so you noticed all that ? all the while i didn't
even know i was being watched .
pntbttr x jellie: and the polite part is just good manners .
youngtriff: Prob because I wasn't watching I was observing frm a
distance :-) Yeah well every woman doesent have good manners notice I
said "women"

<i>[i sense stalker tendacies .]</i>

pntbttr x jellie: lol . right .
pntbttr x jellie: sooo it took you frm summer to spring to say hi bc i
had a bf?
youngtriff: :-) ummmmm did I make u smile?
youngtriff: I respect boundries
pntbttr x jellie: i laughed , so i guesss so .

<i>[laaughing at you , not with you .]</i>

pntbttr x jellie: righht .
pntbttr x jellie: understood.
youngtriff: And you seemed happy
youngtriff: Well you were happy
pntbttr x jellie: i still am happy .
youngtriff: well then I dnt want to kloud ur space
pntbttr x jellie: you make a lot of assumptions .
youngtriff: Its a bad habbit I'm a thinker
pntbttr x jellie: your saying i was happy like its past tense . im
telling you i still am , i said nuthing about my space being clouded .
pntbttr x jellie: righht . ima thinker too but i don't jump to
conclusions .
pntbttr x jellie: assuming is like talking without thinking .
youngtriff: I no I must have 2ook it the wrong way my bad
pntbttr x jellie: yeaa .
youngtriff: And ur right assuming is talkin b4 thinking I like how u put

<i>[complimenting my intelligence now , hm .]</i>

pntbttr x jellie: righht ,
pntbttr x jellie: thks .
youngtriff: Wht you doin up this late
pntbttr x jellie: nuthing actually . i have skool in the morning , i jst
haven't fell asleep yet .
youngtriff: Yeah I noticed a while ago u was in school nursing?

<i>[stalkerrrrrrrr . . . .]</i>

pntbttr x jellie: i guess i could ask why u decided to aim me so late
whn youve had my aim since last summer .
pntbttr x jellie: no . not nursing .
youngtriff: Wht u in school. 4 ?
pntbttr x jellie: it was paralegal studies . im changing it to medical
diagnostic sonography .
pntbttr x jellie: and before you start asking what it is , its the
person that does ultrasounds on different organs in your body .
youngtriff: Yeah I kinda had an idea that's what I was but Damn wow
that's what's up and to answer your question i really kant say y I took
so long but I do be readin yo aways I guess I was jus waiting for the
right time . . . . . Probally because I seem to have krushes on chicks I
kouldnt have and then I end up fuckin with some one I shouldn't have . .
. . . girl of my dreams it it really what it seems or am I lying to my
self think I should try and get some help"
pntbttr x jellie: ohhhh , so you do read my aways .
pntbttr x jellie: and you listen to songs i quote . lol .
pntbttr x jellie: interesting .
youngtriff: :-) that's proof right ?

<i>[proof youve been stalking me from afar??wtf .]</i>

pntbttr x jellie: righhhhht .
youngtriff: told u I be observing frm a distance lol
pntbttr x jellie: i seee .
youngtriff: :-)

<i>[why the fuck is he smiling?]</i>

pntbttr x jellie: so what else have you observed frm reading my aways
for 3 seasons .
youngtriff: While u was not paying attention I came up with a world
klass scheme to get the girl of my dreams :-)
pntbttr x jellie: sooo , your trying to insinuate im the girl of your
dreams .
pntbttr x jellie: ah , interesting .
youngtriff: I'm jus saying I could be lying to my self maybe I should
try and get some help lol

<i>[yeaaaaa , yu MIGHT need some help :-/]</i>

youngtriff: Umm I seen a few aways some love aways lil of it all
pntbttr x jellie: indeed , you could be considering you don't even know
mee .
pntbttr x jellie: okay and youve come to the conclusion thaaaaat ?
youngtriff: I'm jus playin
youngtriff: But u never no
pntbttr x jellie: are you now
pntbttr x jellie: uhuuh .
youngtriff: Guess its only 1 way to find out
pntbttr x jellie: i guess .
youngtriff: Dnt think to hard
youngtriff: Lol
pntbttr x jellie: im nt thinking at all to be honest .
pntbttr x jellie: my brains on idle mode .


youngtriff: Lmao I c u got jokes what school u go 2
pntbttr x jellie: rcc .
youngtriff: Ook riverside or moval?
pntbttr x jellie: riv .
youngtriff: Thaths what's up I went there 4 a while
pntbttr x jellie: ah ok ,
pntbttr x jellie: then wht happended
youngtriff: What's your real name
youngtriff: I transfered to a 4 year university
pntbttr x jellie: are you the fbi ?
pntbttr x jellie: do u need government official shit .
pntbttr x jellie: oh okay , a success story . wht skool did u transfer
youngtriff: Lmfao actually I work for home lance security were over the

<i>[your in college bt u called it home LANCE . hmm . k]</i>

pntbttr x jellie: haha .
pntbttr x jellie: aw shit .
pntbttr x jellie: i don't think i need to be talkin to you .
youngtriff: U got jokes I got jokes 2 ;-)
pntbttr x jellie: but then again . homeland* security threw yu waay off
pntbttr x jellie: i seeee .
youngtriff: Yeah a success story thanks to my mom foot up my ass to go
to a private HBCU
youngtriff: Hey I tried. Lol
pntbttr x jellie: which one .
pntbttr x jellie: you did , ill give you that.
youngtriff: My school is kalled wilberforce university in ohio
pntbttr x jellie: ahhh , ohio of all places .
pntbttr x jellie: your major?
youngtriff: Some times you need a different. Environment to be more
productive my major is Business and management
pntbttr x jellie: agreed .
pntbttr x jellie: so tell me something abt your skool
youngtriff: We are historically know to be the first private HBCU. And
slaves traveled threw our school as the underground railroad
youngtriff: Now who's the FBI LOL
pntbttr x jellie: really now . that's pretty awesome .
pntbttr x jellie: well shit , obviously neither one of us .
youngtriff: yeah its def preety kool
pntbttr x jellie: yeaa .
youngtriff: I see u got a smare mouth :-)
youngtriff: Smart*
pntbttr x jellie: yea . that's the 1st thing everyone notices .
youngtriff: Hard not 2
pntbttr x jellie: well that sucks .
pntbttr x jellie: i just say what comes out .
youngtriff: I like it makes me laff
pntbttr x jellie: no need to sugar coat it
pntbttr x jellie: i noticed .
youngtriff: HUmmmm I see u katchin on quick
pntbttr x jellie: your not tha only person that excels in observations
youngtriff: Ok do u got the dictionary sittin by you dexter lol

<i>[i sense intimidation .]</i>

pntbttr x jellie: no , i don't need one .
pntbttr x jellie: i just have a more advanced vocabulary than others .
youngtriff: So do u have a name smarty
youngtriff: I noticed
pntbttr x jellie: angelica .
pntbttr x jellie: yourself?
youngtriff: Beautiful name
youngtriff: Max
pntbttr x jellie: thks .
pntbttr x jellie: max .
youngtriff: I serious 2 Only angelica I know is off rugrats
pntbttr x jellie: right .
youngtriff: Very beautiful name dnt neen no nick name for that
youngtriff: U think that's game?
pntbttr x jellie: but i was born before she was created , so im the
original .
youngtriff: How old. R u
pntbttr x jellie: well , i didn't give myself a nickname , my family did
. it just stuck .
pntbttr x jellie: i don't uh , know . don't care either honestly .
pntbttr x jellie: 21 .
youngtriff: Jus askin kuz u said right?
youngtriff: Like u didn't believe me


pntbttr x jellie: right is a normal part of my everyday vocabulary . its
my version of sayin yea or i agree .
pntbttr x jellie: I've said it about 30 times since this conversation
started .
pntbttr x jellie: don't start making assuptions again .
youngtriff: I no and ever time I though u was being sarcastic

<i>[lmao , did he just now catch on to all my sarcasm ? whoa .]</i>

youngtriff: Wnt
youngtriff: I no now
pntbttr x jellie: smh .
pntbttr x jellie: well your slackin on your observations .
pntbttr x jellie: keep up .
youngtriff: I see your slackin to . . . . Kuz I observe frm a distance.
. . . .
youngtriff: How was ur easter
pntbttr x jellie: okayy . and what difference does that make . were both
observing from a distance seeing as though were talking thru aim .
pntbttr x jellie: it was fine , and yours.
youngtriff: Mine was honestly a reg day
pntbttr x jellie: ohh okay .
pntbttr x jellie: that's cool
pntbttr x jellie: so your out here or in ohio?
youngtriff: In ohio 4 now
pntbttr x jellie: so then its 5am out there?
pntbttr x jellie: why are u awake
youngtriff: We on a vacation
youngtriff: Yep 5 am
pntbttr x jellie: oh . okay .
youngtriff: I c u no u shyt
pntbttr x jellie: indeed . i can count time zones .
youngtriff: Smart beautiful and funny
youngtriff: Everyone else dnt seem to know how 2 kount
youngtriff: Wht time is ur klass in the am
pntbttr x jellie: sounds about right .
pntbttr x jellie: 1030
youngtriff: Ook
pntbttr x jellie: yeaaa .
youngtriff: Tell me something intresting about u
pntbttr x jellie: um .
youngtriff: U seem full of surprises
pntbttr x jellie: im an asshole and i embrace that quality . im
infatuated with change . i don't like people(society) for various
reasons . my life consists of skool and sleep . and i don't care about
anything that isn't related to me in some type of way .
pntbttr x jellie: basically .
youngtriff: Wow
pntbttr x jellie: suprised .
youngtriff: Ahh yeah
pntbttr x jellie: yu assumed i was gonna say something diff didn't yu
youngtriff: Let's jus say I wasn't expecting that

<i>[he sounds disappointed huh , lmao . tsk tsk .]</i>

pntbttr x jellie: of course nt .
pntbttr x jellie: no one ever does ,
youngtriff: I bet
pntbttr x jellie: right
youngtriff: So ur a bad girl ?
pntbttr x jellie: not at all .

<i>[O;-) , not all the time anyways lol]</i>

youngtriff: Ook
pntbttr x jellie: i dnt like to be categorized .
pntbttr x jellie: bt im nt bad .
youngtriff: Ill remember that
pntbttr x jellie: im just different .
youngtriff: Unique
youngtriff: Different is good
pntbttr x jellie: somethin like that .
pntbttr x jellie: to some people .
youngtriff: Ur Right. Jus depends on the person
youngtriff: Wht u doin
pntbttr x jellie: mhm
pntbttr x jellie: fallin asleep honestly
youngtriff: Ok well I kould let u go to sleep I no u got school if u wnt
I kan def let u go
pntbttr x jellie: ok .
youngtriff: Gnight Ms.Angelica sweetdreams and make sure u wake up for
klass 2 morrow learn somethin ;-)
pntbttr x jellie: i will .
pntbttr x jellie: goodnite and sdreams to yuu too
youngtriff: I would like that now its on u to hit me
pntbttr x jellie: is it?
pntbttr x jellie: well just a heads up , i dnt hit people up so if u
start waiting for awhile dnt be mad .
youngtriff: Thanks u prob dnt need this but here to keep the bed bugs
off :-× muah

<i>[did this nigga just say muah ?! oh hell nah .]</i>

pntbttr x jellie: ha .
youngtriff: Would u like me 2 hit u
pntbttr x jellie: ok
pntbttr x jellie: that's a personal choice .
youngtriff: I'm more of a person that needs a stright answer u dnt seem
like u give them out I'm very simular to you because if u didn't tell me
u would not have hit me I would not have hit you I want u to make an
acception this once and answer me please do u want me 2 hit u up ?

<i>[** hits BLOCK USER , turns over and falls asleep lmao , smh .]</i>


you win somee , you lose somee .

what most of you fail to realize is everythings temporary , which is
typically why i don't dwell on change . think about it .

bangs again .

we have something no one else understands .

its a me && you understanding . made for me && you , by me && you and it
wont be over until me && you decide that "me && you" needs to die .

past , present , future .

you know tonite i found out something i never knew before . and it made
me think about how everyone has a past , some good , some bad , some
horrible , some easy , some hard but it shapes us into the person we are
today and creates some of our internal demons that haunt us everyday . i
think everyone has certain things of their past they dnt want to or
don't talk about period . including myself . but your past has a huge
impact on your present status inlife and will always impact your future
. so i think its important to face some of those past demons and start
over . not just to live better but to be better . to be able to be set
free and have a better understanding . all im saying is , think about
yourpast and learn from it . fix what's broken and save what can be
salvaged . forgive and forget tha rest and move forward . holding on to
the past hinders your ability to grasp your future .


if it aint one thing is aFKNother . (-vent.)

im soooooo tired . like my body still functions but my brain is like
past the E mark . smh . im unfocused . i can't focus . its like between
my personal life and school im constantly having to do something . i
can't even fit in a nap everyday like i used to . i need a damn job .
shit i might be damn near dead bt at least ill be gettin paid to be fkn
near death . i hate everything about my life at this moment . between
boys and love and moving forward and school and all tht shit im just too
through wit everything and everybody that im back in my drop of a dime
irritable moods . i used to always be walking on that line of irrtiated
and okay . and im back to skippin on tht bitch . just one little tiny
thing be havin me so amped up inside i wanna start blastin ! lmao . its
sad bt true . i need a vacation w/o everybody just time to think and put
shit into perspective . i know people make mistakes bt you have no idea
how pissed off i am that im twenty one and nowhere near where i wanna be
. im too smart to have been so stupid in my decision making . i was so
goody in high skool that when i got my freedom i took too much and
started makin those dumb mistakes i was supposed to make and learn from
while i still had cushion . now i did it and im sittin on my ass . well
damn ! i guess at least im focused now , better late than never . at
least that's what they say . i dnt believe shit anymore lol .
everythings bullshit . the shit you hear . the shit you see . half the
shit you learn . the peoplee around you . eeeeverrryyythinnggggggg . but
yea . i just had to vent real fast so i can actually get some sleep . gn
bbys .