dizzzzzyyyy ! :]

so if yall read my blog regularly yuu knooooow i r a r e l y y y do any kinda music reviewss
my nicee friend dizzy [ http://edotdizzy.blogspot.com/] askedd me to listenn && revieww his neww mixtapee "Dizzyana : No Hooks " &&&& . . .
well on some real shit i think yall should follow suit .
i lovee music but i prefer moree under the radar shit then mainstream just because i prefer lyrics over labels .
&& i givee kudoss bcuss he actually has something to say lol .

from the first track called "intro" it catches your attention .
starts out with a short interview [ catchy .] && then right when that first beat drops you 'll find yoself bobbinn yo head lol . shit i did :]
"whyy aree yuu playinnn? yuu knowwww yu lovinnn meeeeee ! "
haaaa ! ilovee the introo cuhhkz ! lmao .

its a real mixtapee , he chosee a good collection of songs to flow over . everyone from drake to weezyy to beyonce && ma btchhh ms . keri bayybeee ! haaa !
between his style of flow , his lyrical content && the songs im sure yall a find somethinn
to bob yo head or relate to :]

go listenn && download on his blog http://edotdizzy.blogspot.com/ NOW ! :]
**personal favss : intro & outro , successful , stand up guy , turnin me on , && beat build :]
i likedd moree but im not bout to list all the songs lmao .
go listennn !


love .

: four letters , one syllable , endless definitions .

i quit writing poetry long time ago .
not because i didn 't like it ,
but because putting words together in a more complex format && still getting your point across took too much thought for me .
im lazy . lol .
writing out raw thoughts is soo much easier for me && still does the same job .
so with that said ; welcome to my mind :]

im in love .
thats a statement .
no doubts about it .
yall already know this but whatever i said it again .
im starting to think i shoulda named my blog "angelica 's lovee life"
or some shit lol .
bt nah .
its more than that .
i talk about love cus it means that much to me && its something universal
who hasnt been in love ? or at least thought they were at some point .
everyone wants to be in love . or be loved . thats just simple human nature .
i 've always wanted anything and everything to do with love :]
im in love with love .
lol .
i won 't deny that .
now that i 've found it i refuse to let it go .
they say yuu get back what yuu put in .
so since i give 110% i get that back .
sometimes when our [him to the bottom right :)] relationship is down , i start having doubts .
not that i doubt his love cus i dont .
bt i start doubting our longevity .
relationships don 't always last forever like you want them to ,
bt they 'll last as long as you do .
which is why i continue to keep getting up after we fall
&& dusting myself off again .
no relationship is perfect .
perfection takes a lifetime or more im sure . . .
bt i 've learned so much in all the errors of our relationship .
it feels like we don 't ever learn from them because at some point
something always trys to bring us down again .
bt i lovee him that much moree when we get back on our feet .
its gets to feeling like we wont ever break .
we 've been through break ups , make ups , 'breaks' , arguments , miscommunication , saying things we dont really mean . . .
bt in the end . we still end up together .
no one can replace the spot he has in my heart .
&& vice versa .
i just can 't feel for anyone else the way i feel for him .
people would say your just in love .
&& maybe it is .
bt to me its soo much more .
when he talks to me ,
every word registers in a special place .
i could doubt the things he says . .
bt i don 't .
something about how he says it && what he says . ..
makes me a believer .
i don 't wanna spend time thinking about the "what if's" . . .
"what if he 's lying ?"
"what if it doesn 't happen ?"
what if , what if !
fuck that .
im for the moment .
i believe in what he says && it means something to me .
that feeling is amazing .
my heart smiles :]
i would rather it smile now && possibly cry later
then to have it get tired from stress && worry .

ahh ,
yall prolly likee this btchh cryinn one day thenn happy af in lovee the next
lmao .
yeaa so what .
ain 't shit easy .
everyone has there ups && downs .
im still learning .
bt he brings a happiness to my life nothing else can fill .
without him there would be a vacancy in my heart . . . my life .
i appreciate him .
im infatuated .
i adore him .
i love him more than anybody && anything .
think whatever you want to .
its a free country .
bt ill be posting our wedding pictures in a couple years . . .
bet that :]

i love you husbandbbyddyboyfriendbetterhalflifetimepartnerfuture :-*


well . . .

sorry i havent really been posting .
between the cpu trippinn ,
me lookin for jobss && trynaa movee
i really havent had the timee or anything to sayy lol .
ill be back soon tho !

[ps]..... he didnt walk away :]


forgivee me first lovee . . .

. . . bt im too tireddddddd .
lol .
well thatss what it all comes down to .
everybody has there fed up point .
i think i finally reachedd it =/
yuu cann keep trying && trying
bt then when yuu realize your the o n l y one trying ,
damnn .
lol .
time to let it go .
this is the time to see if everything you && your lover once told each other
about loving && caring about each other , && not being able to live without one another
was actually true to heart .
i was told everything in the book ,
bt im starting to think i was lied to . . .
whyy am i not surprisedd ? lol .
smh .
men : liars . cheaters . deceivers . heartbreakers .
good oness too !
i aint even mad . i dont even care anymore .
no , wait .
i still care about him .
im just over the bullshit .
when your in lovee you only see what you want to , not always what you NEED to .
i forgive him tho .
he was my first love .
even if his half was a lie .
he made me feel like no other man has ever made me feel before
&& ill always love him for that .
[ to you : ]
you hold a special place in my heart .
bt i realize your still young , you still wanna explore . . .
i just cant sit around while you do .
im strong enough to let you go this time .
i dont want to . bt i cant keep being the only one trying to save our love .
some part of me wants you to come back just to at least say ily .
just to say i really did mean something to you . cus your actions say i dont .
lol . pridee . smh .
i jus wishh you fought to save our love one time .
bt i doubt you will .
too many btchhes tell yuu they lovee you .
they dont lovee you like i lovee you .
never could & never will .
you know that bt i think your just willing to take tht loss .
&& t h a t breaks my heart .
ill livee tho .
im stronger now .
imy zahkeem
i hopee you find happiness && prosper if yu do choose to walk away .
find me in your future .
i love you .


all criedd out .

i said i wouldnt cry anymore .
i havent cried ! . . . .yet .
i dont think i am .
bt , i know at some point i will .
i wishh i could tell yall what just happened .
bt i dont even wanna talk about it .
im still speechless .
im suree its the truthh .
bt , im just likee amazed . wowed . i cant believe it .
bt then again .
somehow i already knew .
maybe thats why it doesnt hurt as bad .
im jus disappointed i was right .
smh .
mad at myself for believing lies && ignoring things i shoulda took into consideration .
thats nobodys fault but mines .
lovee is blind .
not that i DIDNT see , i just didnt WANT to .
i wanted it to be real .
maybe it was .
maybe it wasnt .
it FELT real .
but feelings && reality are two diff thingss .

sometimess i cant help how i feel .
sometimess maybe i should just keep it to myself .
but i cant .
i always feel the need for expression .
i always have to say how i feel .
it has to be acknowledged .
that causes problems .
i dont want problems .
bt sometimes its inevitable .
yuu have to make a choicee -
express it or leave it bottled inn .
to leavee it bottled in would just eat away at you .
i hate that .
i hate alot of things .
i hate being lied to .
i hate being misunderstood .
i hate being misleaded .
i hatee being told one thing && shown another .
i hatee being played with .
i hate being walked on .
i hate being taken advantage of .
i hatee feeling like this .

how could this happen again ?
why does this always happen to me ?
why do i always fall for ppl that dont always feel the same way back ?
why do ppl take my kindness for weakness ?
why dont ppl realize what they havee ?
why do i risk my happiness for someone elses ?
why do i lovee so hardd ?
why do i still gaf ?
smhh .

im madd .
im pissed off .
im confused .
im sad .
im fckinn losst !

all i want is the whole complete truth .
i just wanna understand whats real .
&& not fed lies .
they sound good .
bt fuck good .
i want real .
right now i feel like im stuck in a fantasy && im tryna make it reality .
i dont want that >:O
i want the REALITY of thingss .
i dont want shit else .

i guess ppl take advantage cus i let them .
i jus like pleasing people .
&& i still havent learned .
smh at myself .
i guess tonite was a reality check .

i really just dont care anymore .
for what ?
to be disappointed again ?
i dont deserve what i put myself through .
i know that .
but i guess its true when they say
when yuu in lovee , itss crzy .
lovee makes yuu do crazy thingss .
&& thats some real shit .
i can tell yuu that personally .
bt then again . . .
they say when yuu lovee somethin sometimess yu gotta let it go .
maybe its timee =(


seasonn finalee 's !!

bee pissin me off >:O

so i was watchinn the baldwin hills finale lass nitee .
&& im madd ! i hate when they end the season wit unanswered questions !
lol .
i dont wanna wait no punk ass 4 monthss to see . . .
if seiko movee or stay .
if she likee justinn or gon stay wit cal .
what happen wit tyler && moriah .
&& erybodyy elsee !
waaack !

thennnnn .. . i was MAD on rock of lovee
he gon sendd homee brittanyaa && ashley ! >:O
them was the two bess peoplee !
lol .
evenn thoo - he had good reasons for sendin em home lol
brittanyaa looked the best outta everyone.
&& even tho ashleyy talkedd the most shit she was funny af !
i dont even wanna watch the rest of the season now .
everybody thats left is wack , boring , or stupid .

i was MADDD at how the L word ended .
still dont know who killed jenny ol' conniving ass .
grrrr ! likee wtf ! we waited all seasonn for NUTHINN !
bt i think she killed herself to be honest .
bt yeaa .

i really hopee the bad girls club finalee aint dumbb !
even tho the commercialss look likee they finally got to tiffany &&
rubbed her the wrongg wayyy lol .
so hopefullyy thatss good .
the 'amber show' episodee was dumb af
them girls are sooo dumb ! bt cookie is lwky funny .

bt yeaa thats all i gotta say . lol .


whn good goess bad .

have yall ever been tellin somebody something with good intentions bt then it ends up going all wrong ?
i just did that .
my bby made me mad ,
so i started off tellinn him what he did that made me mad [which is normal for us]
bt then i startedd letting my emotions get the best of me && started
sayinn shit i didnt really mean [cus i was still mad]
i dont even know how i expected him to take it .
a prime of case of not thinking before yuu say it .
&& he took it how he took it .
i didnt intend on making him mad or pissed or w.e.
i really started telling him how i felt so he could provee me wrong
&& make me feel better .
me && my big mouth .
ughh .
im always second guessing my intuition .
again - i had to THINK about it before i said it .
cus i knew it wasnt right .
bt i said it anyways outta anger .
smh .
when will i ever learn .
if i havee to think twice before i say something .
then maybe i shouldnt say it .
period .
i swear sometimes i hurt my own feelins and dig myself in my own holes
only to havee to deal with the fact i did it to myself && have to get myself out of it .
not that i fuck up alot . bt lately i have && i havent figured out why ?
im just scaredd one day he wont put up withh my shit anymoree .
&&how i feel just wont be enough to makee him stayy.


updatee .

yoooooo !
lol .
im so goofy :]
soo yeaa i havent postedd in a few dayss && i actually start to feel lowkey guilty
considering i have so many readers =]
sooo , here 's my quick lil updatee .

imm stilll looking for a job .
i keep getting callbacks bt , from companys that are too outta range [like 20-30miles]
&& thatss a bit muchh since im not driving myself && i know ima hafta fork out
gas $$$ cus i had to when i worked fuckin 3 miless away frm where i live !
so ima talk to ma mama when she get home cus we was supposedd to be moving
annnnyywaaysss bt yuu know how that goess .
i dont know how many timess i denn toldd yall we was gonn movee ,
&& i dont lol .
thats not my fault thoo .
bt , yeaa i needa a damnn job && i gotta get what i can takee .
real shit .

umm . well today was pretty drab . went by fast tho .
i talked to my old bff from the bay again .
she was makin me feel guiltyy cus i was avoidinn her for a minute .
&& i told her i was .
bt not cus i didnt miss her but becuss i was ashamed that i wasnt doing as well as her .
&& i know yer thinking likee , well wasnt that yer bff ? she woulda understood .
bt thats just how i am .
since im in a bad position likee , not in school or working .
i dont like talking to like old friends or relatives .
cus its likee , "ohh what havee yuu been up to ?"
" ohh , nuthing muchh"
"do yuu work or go to school ?"
"noo , not right now , im looking "
"ohh "
yall catchh my drift .
myy bff is in her 3rd year of college && works .
i wish my life wouldaa worked like i wanted bt i had other obsticles than her .
itss all good tho . ima get there .
better late than never right ?
&&she wants me to movee back to the bay ,,
bt i like where i livee
not per se . lol .
bt likee im determined to accomplish what i set out to do .
id hate moving back && not accomplishhing shit while i was out here .
is it takingg a while - yes . am i still determined - yes .
am i gonna movee back - no .

in other newss . . .i started a new workout regiment .
cus lass month i was small && this monthh i picked some weight back up =/
lol .
&& unfortunately itss cus we've had a kitchenn full of food .
&& thats my downfall .
i havee the tendancy to over eat && over indulgee .
likee i might already be full bt have the taste for something else .
so since i know i can fit more food in my stomach
ill go make what im craving just to satisfy myself bt thennnn
im amd at myself for doing it cus it was jus moree fat in my body that im tryna lose .
&& when it comes to exercise , im a lil iffy
cus i have a fucked up knee thats unstable [like i cant jump on it or run cus itll popp outta place]
so like i usedd to always dance && that was my cardio bt now since
im disadvanged i guess lol . i dont really dance cus i try not to involve my knee .
so i been findin new ways to do cardio without impact .
&& what do i do ?????????
B O X i N G! =]
im not the fighting typee , [even tho my bby calls me violent lol]
im really not tho . bt yeaa . i been havin fun boxing and thats been my cardio .
so throw in a couple stretches , some floor bicycles, && push upss &&&...
voila !
ill tell yuu how that works out . . .
too badd we dont gotta scale no mo =/

&&well lass but not least my lovee lifee =]
cus i know most of yall prolly follow that since i talk about it the most .
we 're great =]
im talking to him as im typing this matter fact .
thats myy bbyddy , husband , love for a lifetime , everything .
we have our moments , like any other relationship .
bt we always bounce back .
i lovee himm . he knows that .
he lovess me . i know that .
we just work for each other .
&& i wanna keep it that way .
[ ilyyy bby cus i knoww yuu gonn read thiss =]


clean face .

yeaa , well .
as dramatic as i was yesterday
lol .
i couldnt help how i felt .
but ,
todays a new day .
we made our peace .
&& i can smile again .
lesson learned .


salty face pt. three

idk what to say .
to continue explaining how i feel would just be repetitive .
i hate repetition , so i cant expect yall to enjoy it .
kinda fcked up .
cus besides the fact i dont have anyone to talk to that could
t r u l y make me feel better .
i dont even feel comfortable expressing myself on my own fckin blog
cus i dont wanna bore my readers . && i really appreciate you guys
cus yall give great advice bt man .
smh .
ive been dead weight all day .
i tryed to sleep it away ; didnt work .
prolly wouldnt have ate if mom didnt bring me a plate ; cus i had no appetite.
i havent spoken at all ; unless i was spoken to .
no aims ; cus i dont wanna be bothered .
i just been sitting in this same spot all day ,
listening to music and waiting .
for what ?
him .
he hasnt came . && as much i want him to i cant make him .
i have things i wanna say that i cant .
so instead they're balled up in my throat .
&& everytime i think about it my throat burns , then my face gets hot , then my eyes water .
i hate to admit im like this .
to show im weak . . .
i should be strong .
but i want what i want .
and im not getting it .
i wont be happy until i settle things .
i cant say whatever idc ; bcus i do .
i cant talk to someone else ; bcus i dont wanna talk to anyone else.
him . only him . no one else .
at this moment idgaf about anyone else .
this weighs heavy on my heart .
he's avoiding me because he knows that if he talks to me
he'll give in.
hes trying to stand his ground , teach me a lesson .
i know him .
i just want him to miss me like im missing him .
he does . bt he's angry .
i do bt its bcus i know i made the mistake .
i can apologize a million times for what i did .
bt it doesnt change the fact its already happened .
&& i cant help but be mad at MYSELF because i KNEW that
i SHOULDNT have did it bcause i KNEW it wasnt important .
i did it anyways .
this is the second time being hardheaded fcked me over .
now i cant do anything but blame myself for putting me in this lonely misery .
i was antisocial before bt , now i dont wanna talk to ANYONE AT ALL .
i prolly wouldnt even respond to my mom , if i knew she wouldnt get mad .
im speechless .
idc about anything but getting my baby back
and getting us back to how we were .
cus i NEED that .
hes the smile on my face for no reason at all .
hes my only good thing , i can smile about cus its going right .
&& now that im sad .
i still think about him just as much as before but instead of smiles & tingles
i get sadness & tears .
i would never wish this on anybody .
im trying so hard to keep myself together .
im not going to fall apart .
but hes the bond that holds me together .
i was reading brook lynne 's blog [http://absolutebrook.blogspot.com]
earlier && she said something that really stuck .
she said , i can not control my emotions , but i CAN control my actions .
&& thats what it is. my lesson is learned .
ive learned to think before my actions and listen to my conscience,
cus in the end i wont be able to control how i feel & control the tears .


salty face pt two .

why is that people ALWAYS believe lies , bt NEVER believe the truth ?
my face is stillwet && the bottom of my shirt is wet from wiping away tears && snot .
they wont stop falling .
im soo just hurt right now .
everything always goes wrong .
its another one of our downs .
and its inevitable .
we've had suchaa bomb two weeks .
good days && more memories .
everytime i feel like we gwt closer , && he says something that makes me feel like we'll be together forever .
everything falls apart .
and its all my fault .
he said he no longer trusts me .
and im lying cus i said im not worried about tht other nigga bt i was asking about him .
okay .
i see what hes saying , it is contradicting .
BUT i REALLY REALLY do NOT GAF about tht other nigga !
i swear to yall on my grandma RIP !
i was jus being curious , wondering about where he was .
i guess that was being concerned .
bt i still DC !
now that ONE curious question jus ruined evrything .
curiousity killed the cat .
i ask too many questions .
&& if i wasnt wondering asking questions about dumb shit idc about i wouldnt even be dealing wit this shit .
now whos hurt and crying in the end ??
ME ! as always .
i swear .
i know most people be like just let it go , move on , its not meant to be , blah blah blah .
IDGAF about none of that !
likee a LOVE yall prolly never even felt before .
ive never felt this strongly about anybody .
i dont need anybody ,
bt i NEED HIM .
he needs to be a part of my life .
he completess my sanity .
he completes my heart .
my name starts with A and his with Z .
thats a END to a BEGINNING ,
he finishes me .
i need his lovee && as many opinions you guys have idgaf
cus yall not me && yall dont feel how i feel .
i wish he would stop being so stubborn to the things he knows
&& stop running with this dumb assumption .
noooobody .
yu can put anybody in front of me && i would pick my bf .
im soo fckin loyal .
i just wish he saw that .
he seen it before bt now that he doesnt trust me
hes doubting me .
i just dont know what to do anymore .
how do you prove something to someone that cant see ?
and its not like he never sees , he just dont wanna see .
i feel like part of me just died .
im tryna revive it .

salty face .

i swear ive never cryed so much in my life .
im so....just down .
nuthings going the way it should
i jus feel like my worldd is falling apart in front of my eyes .
im getting to the point where i have nobdy to talk to
about how i feel anymore , and the only person i do talk to &&
wanna talk to , doesnt wanna talk to me .
idk what to do anymore .
and what makes me mad is this whole situation coulda been avoided if i woulda jus listened to myself .
i told myself , dont do that , its not important .
bt , i did it anyways . cus i didnt think it was that serious .
&& it backfired in my facee .
now i dont have anyone bt, myself .
myself .
mannn FUCK ME !
im so tired of being alone .
im miserable .
&& now this is jus eating me up cus the other half of me is missing .
i miss him so much bt i did all i could . idk what to do anymore ,
i just want things to go back to the way they were .
i wanna be lovedd && i wanna be happy .
i wanna feel complete.
bt, i cant get back to that place...
not yet at least .


march ninth [k] !!!

mann today jus aint my fckinn day !
first i had to deal withh that bullshit [refer to post below]
nowww ,
my bby mad at me cus i had somn about my homie in my away [on aim]
&& idkk . he trippinn .
&& im fckinn sad , cus he the person i wanna talk to right now
&& i think he fell asleep mad at me so now im jus sad af . .
cus now i miss em && jus simply on the fact i know he was mad at me
when he fell asleep makes me feel bad , cus i already know how he is
&& i thought about whether i should say somn about the homie cus
i know how my bby is . && how he would react bt at the same time
i didnt think he would get mad .
so w.e i madee a mistakee .
now i gotta reap what i sowed .
&& fuuuck today !
fuckin btchh ass monday cuhhkz . lol .
i hopee i find a job soon .
i wanna move to long beach .
fuck moreno valley , fck riverside , fck the ie .
im savin up then im out this beeitch like vrooom vrooom !

im done .

finished wit dealin with this btchh .
&& when i say this btchh im referrin to ma mama husband .
we jus got into a fight - a physical fight !
i socked tht btchh all in his facee ,
got me sooo fckedd up .
talkin to me crzy likee he got some type of authority over me !
btchh yuu aint ma daddy ! yuu aint shit to me !
so if yuu think yuu can jus talk sideways to me && ima let that shit slidee
yuu soo fuckinn wrong .
btchh gon have the nerve to throw a chip at ma head .
&& as funny as it may sound .
i fuckkinn lost it !
i threw somethin at him , got all in his facee
then he gon fuckin touch me !
i firedd on his ass , bt moms was in the way ,
mannnnn i called him all typess of btchhes !
he gets NO respect !
idgaf if he ma mamas husband .
fuck him .
hes a btchh . a fuckin joke .
i swear i wish i was a nigga right now so i can whooop his asss >:O
i dont even want nobody else to fight him !
i wanna fight him myself !
ughhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh !
im sooo mad right now !
i swear !
mannnnnnnn !
mtfckinnn btchhhhhhhh>:O
&& i dont want no mtfckin apology ,
F U C K H I M .
i dont like him && im not bout to pretend like i do .
i d g a f .
im bout to find me a job && movee the fuck out .
cus i already know him && me livin together aint bout to last long ,
&& i realllly dont wanna move back wit my dad .
gawwwwwwd , i swear i alwayss get put in some fucked up situations !!!
mannn . && im not even the fightin typee bt he got my blood BOILING !!!
ooooh i jus wanna mollywhop his asssss !
im jus had to type my anger out real quick so i could calm down .
bt whatevr our friendship/relationship whatever tf yu wanna call it
that shit is over . && dead && burnt tf up .
FUCK CUHHKZ ! on ma granmaa RIP .


lovee keri =]

i lovee thiss song , i kinda relate ; bt not really .


futuree - heree i comeeee :]

so basically for the lass 5 hourss i jus been sitting && researching careers && schools trying to figure out the path i wanna take , thats both fulfilling to my education and easy on my pockets cus i DONT intend on havingg thousandss of dollars worth of debt . && even tho they say youu gotta invest to get it back . im not guaranteed success in my futuree so tryna figure out how to pay 90,000 dollas for a education in art school isnt gonna work for me . so lemme fill yall in . . .

my first lovee in lifee [besideess my bbydddy :)] is f a s h i o n .
like any typical person my age , im obsessed with colors , clothes , shoes , accessories , ect .
im interested in anything && everything tht relates to fashion including writing && photography . but my main goal is to eventually open my own boutique in the la area :]

&& this is something ive put alooooot of thought process in .
so , ever since my dad wouldnt let me go to fidm [fashion institute of design & merchandising] when i first graduated hs back in 06 . ivee been going back n forth between a career in fashion or something else . bt i figure i might as well do what i love && pursue fashionn .
i was gonna go to csu-northridge cus they have a good fahion program buuut, i fucked tht off in 07 . so thenn i was gonna jus go to comm college then transfer bt i kept makin all these excuses , mostly the fact i need a job in order to pay for it , which isnt really tht far from the truth =]

sooo thenn , after my mom decided she wanted to move to arizona , earlier this year , i REFUSE to movee outta cali . so based on the fact , i d have noowhere to stay in southern california where i wanna stay i decided to apply to a csu again , so i could live on campus and wouldnt have to move . i chose csu - dominguez hills b/c it was still accepting apps when i was trying to apply for this fall . bt it doesnt even have my major so , im likee . . do i REALLY wanna go there jus to pay for general education when i could jus go to comm college then transfer to a better qualified college for my B.A or B.S . . my answer -- hell nahh .

sooooo nowwww , im thinking i wanna go to a community college in the la area .
preferably - cerritos in norwalk ; el camino in torrance ; or long beach city in lb .
sincee they all have my fashion major && are affordable .

your next question is where tf you gonna stay ? lol .
so sincee i can find a affordable studio for under $700 , utilities inc .
im considering saving up after i find a job so tht i can move to la or lb .

this is a bit muchh .
but i know i can do it if i really want .

the things i have to accomplish beeforee i can even put this plan into effect ??

- find a job to start my savings ; possibly transferable for when i move .
- get my l's && a car . =/ yeaa i knoww lol .

&& in realityy thosee thingss arent THAT hard to obtain if im working hard .
soo i figuree , ima get those out the way .
try to find either another job in the la area or transfer locations .
findd a affordable apt for my income .
then enroll in the nearest comm college .
earn my A.A or A.S . thenn transfer to a CSU [maybe ] .

**sighh .
lol . i figure this is a cool master plan . im jus hoping i dont change my plans again
cus i have an addiction with constantly changing shit .
&& even tho they say change is good .
im ALWAYS changing shit . [as im sure yall noticed i change my page like every week or so ].

i jus need to knock off step one of finding me a job , which i been stayin on top of latelyy .
so hopeeefully it payss off .
my momss not moving til the end of the year /beg of next year so i got that long to put this into effect .
wishh me luuuck ! shit my black ass gon need it ! lol .