29.6.09

poem # 7 .

numb .
from tha inside out
i feel no emotion
no remorse
as tha pain that once filled my veins
no longer flows
nothing but blank thoughts cross my mind
as memories of us disappear again
i stand here , still
watching myself walk away from me .
im empty
drained from . . .
hurt after heartbreak
tears after pain
disappointment after loss
i cant do this anymore
i give up .
perseverence is supposed to get you places
only place i end up is misery lane .
i hate this place .
dark and lonely
where all my love and happiness
converts to hate and bitterness
and i can no longer love
bcus ive now become cold
& h e a r t l e s s .
where did my warmth & security run off to ?
[another womans arms . . .]
only to leave my heart , left on tha floor
beating its last beats .

am i wrong to keep trying ?
am i wrong to keep thinking this will ever work ?
am i wrong to love you after everything we been through ?
am i wrong for not knowing what to do or how to act ?
am i wrong to think i should stop trying ,
bcus you'll never commit to loving me tha way i need you to ?
its draining me ; killing me softly
you`ve become the deadliest drug . . .
l o v e , & im addicted .

3 comments:

All-Mi-T [Thought Crime] Rawdawgbuffalo said...

W
O
W

Anonymous said...

DOPE!! glad i stumbled across your blog:) im about to get down reading!!
"watching myself walk away from me" ... dope line.
and i love how you ended it!! "you've become the deadliest drug.. love &im addicted" B0MB!!

_kamthebeautiful said...

this is exactly how i feel!!
I l.o.v.e this one so relatable