18.6.09

change is good !

you know what reeeeeeally erks me ?
when peoplee get mad bcus your not tha same
person you u s e d to be .
likeeeee
i thought tha whole ideaa of growing older & wiser
was to learn from your trials & tribulations
& make mistakes & just do what yu wanna do .?
livee your OWN life , so to speak . .
yeaa so what !
i dont likee my lifee how i would likee tooo buuut
nonetheless
it is MY lifee & i wouldnt changee it for tha worldd
yeaa im doinn bad
yeaa i get madd .
yeaa im not tha nicee sweet pushover angelica i USED to be .
whoogivess a fuuuck ?!
im determined to get better .
i dont stay mad for long .
& i turned bitter over tha years thanks to people
taking my kindness for blindness/weakness .
fuck being nice .
im nicee naturally , bt mostly when i w a n n a be .
ima asshole w. a smart ass mouth .
i admit it & most people would tell yuu lol
but im still a sweetheart .
i still like to be likedd
& im still not obnoxious or just rude for no reason at all .

i feel bad [kinda] cus my bestfriend [ex?] idk lol frm tha bayareaa
always asks me to move bck becus to her since im doing bad here or nt as
good as i was theree , she just figures i should move back and make it
better .
people dont understand .
they think im jus socializing my life away. . .
smoking drinking partying . ST0P !
umm no .
i dont wanna movee bcus i like it down here
maybe not tha city i live it bt its cool .
ive made new friends . i have a great bf .
why would i just leave all this to move back to have what one or 2
friends ? tht i still tlk to and no bf ?
nahhh . im str8 .
i dont smoke anymore & i rarely ever drink .
i dont party cus my ass is broke .
& all i do is sit n tha house on my phone trynaa find a job .
im finally starting skool this fall & im excited .
not really cus i dont have shit to wear lol
bt im lookin for a jooob so ii cann have some $$$ .
hopeffffullly i find sooomethinggg . damnn .
bt back to thaa point of thaa blogg . . .

i hatee how ppl want yuu to stay tha same way forever .
i embrace change .
i admit i do switchh my shit up frm time to time
bt thats bcuss i prolly dnt like how something was before so i changed
it to my liking .
idc what ppl think .
they wanna be likee oh she actin brand new , she didnt used to act like
that .
likee yeaa btchh neither did yuu .
who gives a fck .
the way i view life is completely different then i did before.
idgaf about gaining or losing a friend .
they come n go like seasons , theres reasons lol
i dnt trust people , i dont believe people .
i jus dont caree .
and bcus of tht i guess i come off rudee to most ppl .
welll im sorry i no longer care lol .
maybe next timee .
im still tryinn to figure out whats nxt for me .
maybee youll get thaa old me back after
i get everything i want .
and i no longer have to be bitter about shit .
til thenn .
fck what yuu thinkinn
fck what yuu thought
take me how i am or dont talk to me !
periodpointblank .
that is all :)

1 comment:

Qu33n Kam... said...

me and u are alike in so many ways
when i read ur blogs its like im readin about myself i think thats why i love this blog so much
for u not to be doin much ur life is more interesting than u think