i wishhh

i couldvee seen tha futuree
wayy beforee it happenedd .
if i kneww thenn what i knew now . . .
i wouldve done something to try to changee it .
if i kneww i would be hurt so manny times
i wouldvee avoidedd it .
if i kneww what i did so wrongg in life to deserve thiss
i wouldvee never donee it .

i sit and wonder ,
for hours & days & weeks & now months .
why ?
why is my life soo fcked up ?
why is it that i want 3 simple ass things .
& cant havee them for anything in this world ?
to have a job , go to skool , & have a happy relationship
is that r e a l l y too muchh to ask ?
i swear thats like really plain & typical .
am i doing something wrong ?
maybe im nt trying hard enough . .
maybee im just not supposed to find happiness yet .
im so lost .
soo unhappy .
and when i find things / peoplee that make me happy .
i lose them too .
id give anything just to be happy again .
like REALLY happy .
not just happy for a min , happy for a hour m happy for a day .
likee , really truly happy . w. me & my lifee .
i constantly want changee .
bt i never get thaa type of changee i want .
my changee is always for thaa worsee
&never for tha better .
my happiness is timed .
it onlyy lasts for a limited time only .
idk , i really dnt caree anymoree .
i guess itll happen when it happens .
or maybe ill never be happy . ..
dont know , dont givee a fck .

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