15.6.09

break but not broken .

he said we need a break .
a br e a k .
i didnt expect it , so i broke down .
i know we been bumpin heads alot theses past few days
but idk .
i thought we talked about our problems so that
we could ge thru them and fix them .
but he told me that this isnt personal
and im taking it tht way and im not supposed to .

and i admit that it really isnt about me
and i am taking it personal even tho im not suposed to .
im being selfish again .
inconsiderate to tha fact he does need a little space
because his life did just make a drastic change .
i guess i just figured having a gf and a bbymma was
easy for niggas jus because idk ?
i guess i just figured it wouldnt be so difficult
bcus there isnt any bbymmadrama
its nt like my exgirl & my nxt girl . .
im coo wit her & viceversa .
i respect her place & viceversa .

** sidenote : him& her have never been in a relationship, so dont gimme
tha oh his feelins mightve came back for ect ect . accidents happen .

but hes stuck in tha middle .
he told me he feels like hes living a double life :(
because he wakes up to me ,
goes to work , gets off , checks on her to make sure she str8 , then bck
home to me .
but like ,
i already knew this . . .so i guess i jus didnt think it
bothered him bcus we already talked about it .
i feel like . . .im jus causing more problems and confusion
but i know he loves me and wants to be with me .
but he really jus needs time to put his life back in order
since it just got thrown out of wack this month .
ima give him his space tho bcus we didnt break up
he just needs some time & i know he needs tht now .
i can handle that . i just hope i dont start missing him
to tha point idk what to do w. myself . .
bcus i really have began to fall hard for him
& its not no damn angelica , yall aint even been together tht long .
ive been tlkinn to him damn near everyday since september of lass year
.
our friendship just grew into something so much more
greater and special .
i trust him and his actions .
i love him . so ima give him what he needs
bcus i really want us to work
and if he cant straighten it now .
itll be way more difficult later . . .
hopefully this works out
cus i have a bad habit of setting myself up for disaster =.

3 comments:

nt skinne n e mo said...

im sorry to hear that. maybe it will be a good thing for you too. i hate those "break" shits. lol

diplomatikk said...

trust me girl, i know what you're going through.

my boyfriend's baby mother is hell to deal with - so at least you aren't going through that.

sometimes, i kinda' wish he wanted to take a break, but then again ... when a break turns in to a break up ... where do you end up, yanno' ?

idk mann....
but trust & believe i feel you 200% on this shit, girl .

it'll get easier for you 'cus you don't have any drama with the girl . so break but don't break away .

:)

Qu33n Kam... said...

honestly as bad as a break sounds i think u low key need a break and this isnt said to sabotage ur relationship cuz im sooo a relationship type girl i rather been in a good one than not in one at all...but when ur heart has endured so much pain its ok to let it go ona vacation for a while. jus so it can relax.

as far as ur new boo is concerned at least he is honest wit u[sumthin us women always want in a man] and i cud see hwy he feels he lives a double life cuz a baby aint nothin to jus be like ok wit ..its a serious as burden and he prolly screams fuuuucckkkkk!! every night b4 he goes 2 bed..jus let him get accustomed to bein a dad cuz he gona have 2 be that 4ever regardless if ur there or not. But continue to show that u can handle it and that ur here for him be that ride or die but only if its worth it and if he is hold on to him.