a br e a k .
i didnt expect it , so i broke down .
i know we been bumpin heads alot theses past few days
but idk .
i thought we talked about our problems so that
we could ge thru them and fix them .
but he told me that this isnt personal
and im taking it tht way and im not supposed to .
and i admit that it really isnt about me
and i am taking it personal even tho im not suposed to .
im being selfish again .
inconsiderate to tha fact he does need a little space
because his life did just make a drastic change .
i guess i just figured having a gf and a bbymma was
easy for niggas jus because idk ?
i guess i just figured it wouldnt be so difficult
bcus there isnt any bbymmadrama
its nt like my exgirl & my nxt girl . .
im coo wit her & viceversa .
i respect her place & viceversa .
** sidenote : him& her have never been in a relationship, so dont gimme
tha oh his feelins mightve came back for ect ect . accidents happen .
but hes stuck in tha middle .
he told me he feels like hes living a double life :(
because he wakes up to me ,
goes to work , gets off , checks on her to make sure she str8 , then bck
home to me .
but like ,
i already knew this . . .so i guess i jus didnt think it
bothered him bcus we already talked about it .
i feel like . . .im jus causing more problems and confusion
but i know he loves me and wants to be with me .
but he really jus needs time to put his life back in order
since it just got thrown out of wack this month .
ima give him his space tho bcus we didnt break up
he just needs some time & i know he needs tht now .
i can handle that . i just hope i dont start missing him
to tha point idk what to do w. myself . .
bcus i really have began to fall hard for him
& its not no damn angelica , yall aint even been together tht long .
ive been tlkinn to him damn near everyday since september of lass year
our friendship just grew into something so much more
greater and special .
i trust him and his actions .
i love him . so ima give him what he needs
bcus i really want us to work
and if he cant straighten it now .
itll be way more difficult later . . .
hopefully this works out
cus i have a bad habit of setting myself up for disaster =.