soo . . .

i realized i only blog now to have someone to talk to .
i need new friends .
i have veerry few to begin with , bt i dnt even care for tha ones i have
now .
haven't met any new ones bc people are faker than knockoff uggs in tha
wintertimee .
i thought yu were supposed to find "lifetime friends" in college ?
maybe tht only applies to 4 year universities .
my skool is like a big ass high skool smh . tthats what it reminds me of
.
fake niggas . fake bitches . lames and extraa'd out people .
im straight . its really contradictive since i enjoy having friends but
im anti.social . . but shit
what's tha point of friends if they not real friends?
id rather be my own friend and enjoy my own company and never betray
myself .
moving along . . .
i dnt even have a real reason to blog . im annoyed .
my mom is drunk again . talking our ears off about shit frm tha past tht
i have no idea what she's talking about .
i can't sleep cus she's tlking .
i wannaaa runnnnn awaaaaaaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyy !
i hope tha rain stops on saturday . this rain got me goin crazy . but
only cus its inconvenient when i do wanna go places .
my car is a bucket but it runs in and all the problems i knew it had are
in compatible w. rainy weather .
i need new windshield wiper blades .= i can't see clear .
i need a new heater cord w.e its called= my heater & my defroster dnt
work .
i need a piece on my sway bar =my car swerves when i drive over 40mph .
now wtf ! am i posed to do with tht piece a shit ?
there's no purpose in having a car if your gonna be freezing cold , go
blind straining your eyes , and start traffic cus yu can't go over 40
mph .
i need tha SUN to shinee !
i really want for skool to start back . i need something to do .
school starts february 16th . i have to pick my classes on tha 28th and
time isn't moving fast enough .
im aiming for a 3.33 this semester :)
im gonna try to take 2 online classes so i can find another job bc im
more than tired of being broke .
that's one of tha reasons im so damn unhappy .
i hate not being able to do what i want when i want . or buy what i want
when i want . i dnt really care where tf i work at this point . i need
a job . buuut i still reject fast food lol .
oh well .
i just wanna work hard .
and stay busy so that i dnt focus on what i miss .
i talked to james .
i KNOOOWW i KNOOOOOOOOOWWW lol
i said i was letting go , and i am .
but i just needed one last convo .
i didn't wanna say bye .
after i we said goodnight i just sent him some pics and told him to hhit
me up when he's ready to see me . cus that's all i want .
i just want to have that face to face convo . til then we need time
apart to know what we want .
i already know were not fenna get back together , not for awhile
anywayss .
he wants to talk to other bitches . im already knowin .
bt he's young so whatever . but i wish i didn't have to be tha on & off
gf .
its not me , its him . I've never cheated . i dnt wanna tlk to other
niggas . but that's what he wants . were a year and 4 months apart but i
have my mind andheart made up and he's still figuring it out .
i guess ima just go back to doin me .
prolly leave niggas out tha picture for awhile cus thts not even what i
care about .
i just wanna go to skool and work and get back to where i used to be .
maybe things a work out then .
hopefully next month is a better month .
i doubt it .
i doubt alotta shit nowadays .
but whaaaatever . im pretty much at fuck you & fuck life status .
i dnt care abt tooo much of anything anymore bc when i do i just get let
down . smh .
life is full of unfortunate surprises yea ?
anyways im fenna try to go back to sleeping my life away . nite nite .