so far ; so good .

so i've been waiting for somn outta wack to happen sincee its the 13th
bt all i've noticed is evrybody is m . i . a !
im likee wtf ???
lol .

oh well .
so really all i been doin is listenin to music ,
&& looking for apartmentss cus if i dont research where i want us to move to
my mom or her husband gon pick ,
&& fuuuck all tht .
lol .
psh .
so yeaa .
we supposed to movee next month cus the lease is over && my mom dont wanna pay the rent increase for this piece of shit ass apt we livee in now , which i agree .
i miss our 3 bdroom =/

whaatevr .
so anyways ,
i confronted my mom about her husband this mornin when i woke up ,
cus yet again he pissed me off .
so when he left to the storee , i let her have it .
she didnt have anything to say , cus she knew i was right with all the points i made .
only thing she said was , "why didnt you tell him that "
im lookin at her like
**smirk .
you know damn well he cant take this heat he gon get all over dramitic n shit
&& start makin threats that dont nobody wanna hear .
so ima jus keep the peace by tellin you .
so at some point when i do let loose on his ass .
you know why .

i havent really said muchh about my relationship with my bf[ex] .
lol . i know yall like why yuu dont jus say yo ex .
&& its like , cus he still feels like my bf , bt hes not , lol , hes my ex .
bt , annnywaaayss .
idk .
i dont even know what to say about us right now .
bt im getting in one of my doubting moods again .
like ,
doubting that everything we tell each other is really gonna happen .
i think sometimes i over interpret things when things dont go as they normally do .
&& i start over reacting .
bt , i jus figuree ima fall back for a min .
to see where we stand .
cus lately we still talk everyday like we still together .
bt yesterday was a little odd .
i know him like the back of my hand so i know when hes not his regular self .
&& i could tell yesterday he wasnt in a talkative mood .
&& i didnt know if it was jus me . or he didnt wanna talk to anybody .
i felt a little helpless tho . likee as much as i wanted to talk to him
i knew that forcing the conversation was jus gonna make me mad
cus i know he wasnt gonna talk back like he usually does .
so instead ,
i jus gave him his space .
and left it up to him to talk to me when he wanted .
&& i told him this .
he jus said alright && told me he loved me .
i left it at that .
times passing .
so i jus said , dont go to bed without saying anything .
&& he said something before he went to bed .
so i respected it .
still a little hurt by the fact he really didnt wanna talk tho .
we had our lil chit chats bt nothing like a typical conversation .

--my conclusion .
i have to realize that we arent together .
&& im still expecting for everything to stay the same when its not .

--my solution .
fa-fall baack .
as hard as its gonna be .
ima jus give him his spacee .
to see if he'll miss me like i do him .
cus im pretty suree he will .

im singlee bt i dont even care .
its really whatever .
all i want is my baby back .