1.9.09

fuck my life . no wait fuck YOUR life . part uno .

so check it .
lmao , jp i always wanted to say that dumb shit .
whenever someone starts they sentence wit that you KNOW they bout to
start talkin some bullshit .
smh .
anyways , its two seventeen AM .
i have to wake up at 73o .
& yea , second day of school tmmw , yay me .
* blank stare .
anyways .
so I've come to the conclusion im OFF [not fucking w. ] people .
and im content with that .
i guess that's umm ,
possibly not normal to enjoy being anti social .
but tha quality of socialNESS so to speak ,
isn't worth my time or effort .
the ONLY time youll see myself going outta my way to socialize is at
WORK when im getting PAID to be sociable .
people constantly talk shit about how everytime they see me , im on my
phone .
well yes , my phone holds more interest value than Your conversation . i
apologize if you feel offended but in all honestly idgaf .
excuse my coldHeartedness . but hey , its just me .
so as i observe people & they're social circle i realize a lot of
bullshit . a lot of that artificial shit .
* sigh .
im soo over it .
people are all on there own agendas .
but there's diffent types of ppl & what's on their agendas diverse .
there's leaders , theres followers , & theres individuals .

-leaders . they feed off there ego & attention . they love being tha
center of attention . they think they are the baddest thing walking
.[for the record there's always something badder] and if you don't do
what they they think is "cool" or w.e . then your disregarded .

* um , yea . fuck your leadership skills . you can't lead me in any kind
of direction to do shit . fuck your outlook . fuck what you like . fuck
your ego . you aint shit . highly superficial & judgemental .

- followers . smh . do i really need to go into to detail wit these kind
of ppl ? these are tha lost ones . who can't find themselves . they tag
on to people they view as "cool" and ride they're sack . dick swangin !
its what they do . its a sidekick thing . i hate that shit . they have
no individualism . its whatever tha main person does . they're doing it
to . smh . no bueno .

* lol , i hate followers . game recognize game . i peep these mtfckas n
1.2 seconds . but i disregard their presence and activity because they
have no beneficial value .

- individuals . do what tf they wanna do . they don't care about friends
. being cool . being wrong or right . they're just them . they live life
the way they see it . they've been liberated from all the bullshit
people are too dumb to notice .

* most individuals are rude , mean , assholes , losers , loners ,
bitches . ect . yeaa those are qualities of tha other ppl . but they are
who they are . IM an individual .
on a daily basis im called some sort of negative word . ex : mean , rude
, asshole , cold , ect . bitch , please . idgaf & if i did i would look
like it .

[disclaimer : these are my personal views . if you don't agree , great .
keep moving . idgaf about your rebuttals]

i digress .
I've come to be okay with tha fact i don't need "friends" .
i have a couple .
couple . possibly a few .
i get along with everyone but everyone doesn't qualify .
i can offer u friendship . but if u fuck it off w. something i don't
respect , which is the main reason i usually stop fucking with people .
that's your bad . you lost one .

james told me , i don't need a boyf to feel complete & that i let people
define my happiness . & yea , i agree .
but not really . my boyf . the love of my life , completes me . that is
my other half . thus w.out him WITH me , i AM incomplete . i don't have
"friends" so he is my lover & best friend/confidant .
people don't define shit in my happiness , cus people aint shit . but he
does . i put too much uh , trust & faith in someone else keeping me
happy cus i like the happiness they give . its different then a regualr
self given happiness , its better . but for some odd reason i can't keep
that kind . . .i digressss

people spend too much time worrying about other ppl .
FUCK people ! yea i said it . fuck em .
what are they doing for you ? they talk shit . they lie .
they connive . they decieve . they pretend . they judge .
not everyone . but about 97% .
i could do without all the extras .
i enjoy my friendship with myself . & I've come to realize i am a cold
rude bitch . but all in good taste :)
im still a sweetheart that does nice things .
i just don't gaf about you or your life .
& that's prolly an understatement .

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