3.9.09

cry me a river .

im so tired of crying .
i keep tryna hold it in but it doesn't work .
im so hurt right now like .
when they say Love is Pain , they never lied .
i never experienced anything that affects me the way love does .
and i starting to hate it .
everything hurts me .
and i can't apologize for how i feel . but i just always feel let down
.
like what is lovee ?
i feel it and i have the idea . i know how to give it . and i receive it
but things never go how they should .
it really hurts my heart and i feel so misunderstood .
its like i lovee too much or too hard .
but idk how to love any other way .
i would do anything for tha person i love .
like its all or nothing .
what's the point of love if you not gon give 100 %?
amd i always feel gipped ouutta somethinv but then im wrong when i try
to bring up how i feel .
how did something so perfect end up soo fucked up :'(
well it feels fucked up right now . . .
and aint shit i can do about it .

im ready to give up .
i can't handle all this constant heartbreak .
i just wanna be happy and if i can't be happy in a relationship with the
person i love . then i might as well be unhappy single .
i feel like i lovee too much .
like i guess that's why im always disappointed cus i expect to be loved
back the way i love .
and i guess that's not possible .
i always do what i can .
i do what i say & i say what i mean .
if i say im comin , im gonna come .
if i say ima do something for you , im gonna do it .
i hate disappointing people .
my goal is to keep that person happy .
but for some reason when it comes to me ,
my satisfaction is passive .
i don't even know how to feel anymore , or what to do .
i feel numb and saad .
i don't know whether to keep trying and let it go .
i can't fucking stop cryingggg .
i don't wanna let go .
but i can't stop crying i can't even type .
idk . idk what to do .
i feel outta place .
ill be back whenever cus i can't even see tha screen :'(

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