30.1.09

reset button .

don 't you wish we had one in lifee ?
like you couldd jus press the reset button when you fuck up .
or at least start the level over .
lol .

as much as im tryna take it one day at a time && just try to be happy .
i still cant be . more and more shit happens that makess me think twice about the decisions im making . ima libraa , && im one of the most indecisivee people youll ever meet . most definately one of my worser qualities .

i jus wanna go back && start over . i wanna take back things i did , things i said . i wish some things never happened . facing the reality of thingss makes me wanna lose my mind .
i juss feel like i need a fresh start . a new beginning . i jus wanna disappear for awhile .
maybe that might be whats best for me to get over the situation im in . cus right now i cant .
not because i dont want to but becuss my heart wont let me .

i ' ve learned that one of my biggest blessings is also one of my biggest flaws .
&& thats my biggass heart .
im suchaa selfless person . && when i givee my all .
i givee it ALL .
heart , mind , && soul .
im so far in ,
i dont even know how to get it back to the way it used to be .
im soo scared for my bf to movee on that i keep asking him the same shit over && over when i already know the answer jus making things worse .
i cant let go , && try something else becuss it doesnt feel right . even tho i want it to .

im suchh a heartful femalee. lol .
i wishh i was heartless . i prolly wouldnt havee half the stress i havee .
i jus dont wanna hurt anybody even tho i think someone might get hurt .
i dont wanna hurt anyone bt i feel likee i might need to leavee everyone alone jus to get myself back together . && honestly . to do that would literally leave me with no one to talk to .
so i guess i better makee a loooong playlist && takee my vacationn . cus i think i need it .

2 comments:

King.Price said...

who you tellin sweetheart..i totally feel you..maybe we should go take that vacation together..cuz i definitely need it...the stress is ridcious...but on some real shit..hit me up if you ever just wanna talk. i know you dont know me very well but that will all come in due time. i always got a ear to listen and a shoulder to cry on.. you have inspired me to write somethin like this..

ariele said...

"im suchh a heartful femalee. lol .
i wishh i was heartless . i prolly wouldnt havee half the stress i havee "

ha story of my life bro! do what u need do