when it hurts so badd ; why doess it feel soo good ?.

thiss iss too complexx .
i let it go . then i take it back .
then i let it go again .
i don ' t know why i can ' t let him qo .
call me stupid . call me naivee .
im juss younqq && dumb && in lovee .

bt what makess this time different then all the last .
is that it was a mutual agreement .
to not be together .
in somee wayss i was fed upp && tiredd .
i felt it dyinq off slowly .
i juss didn 't wanna facee it .
i facedd it today .
i stopped givinn a fck .
i stopped carinq about what he was gonna think or do .
&& stood up for how i felt .
i said what i felt i needed to , && i think thats why im not cryinq or in pain .
we actually still talked afterwardss && laughed as frinns .

im not gonna be bitter . if it ain 't meant to be then its juss not .
im not gonna keep tryna force uss to work if itss not .
im not qonna talk down onn him . cuss thts alwayss qon be ma bby .
i know himm so well , i know what hes gonna do beforee he doess it , lol
like most coupless n lovee , i know him insidee n out ,
bt like sometimess i just don ' t understand why he does the thingss he does
i think sometimess he juss getss confused ass to if he wantss to be in a relationship or not .
&& sincee he knowws how muchh i lovee him , he expectss me to be theree for him
til he decidess .
bt i cant hold onn any longer , my heart breaks everytimee he does thiss .
&& i try to understandd why someone who lovess me so muchh
couldd do me that wayy .
we pushh && we try againn . cuss of the lovee we havee for one another .
bt one day i know that we wont pushh , && we 'll jus givee up .
cuss it takess so muchh energyy .
idk if thiss is the end . i really dont .

my frinns alwayss ask me ,
likee whyy do yuu put up with tht ?
&& itss likee cuss i knoww that , itss not the end of us .
bt maybe , someone can lovee me better .
im jus not readyy to admit that .
im not readyy to admit .
that i put in all this hard work ,
&& lovee && all for it to jus endd like thiss .
im not ready to let go .

bt i got enoughh stregnth to tryy .
&& thatss what countss .
he 's my kryptonite.
i could be the saddest , maddest btchh ever !
&& he has the ability to put a smile on my face && takee it all away .
&& that kills me .
cus without himm i feel likee part of me is missinq .
bt maybee it needss to stay vacant for someone elsee to fill it . . .
or maybee jus maybeee . . he miqht fit back where he belongss ,
..........besidee me .