l o s t .

without a placee to qo .
what happenss when yuu plann yur lifee out .
&& everythinqq chanqess ?
itss feels like that allllwayss happens to me .
thatss the reason i didnt start colleqe the fall after i graduated .
&& noww thts the reasonn , i cant happily qet back on my feet .

for the past two yearss i been stuck in this piece of shit ass city called moreno valley .
south of riverside for thosee are like where ?
lol .
mann ,
i been dreamminnnn for the day we moved .
&& i finally talked my mom into movinnqq closer to la .
for [1] moree job oppurtunitess cus it aint shit out here .
&& [2] itss closer to my bf && my friendss .
so , shes like okay find uss a placee .
so i do all this researchh find us a placee in the bellflower area .
so , since she aqreed . i started lookin for jobs .
&& the NEXT dayy after i filled em out .
i gotta call back . so im like mann aint this bout a btchh .
we havent even moved out there yet .
so im like mma we qotta move ASAP !
lol .
shit im tryna get back worrkinn && back on my feet .
so shes like okay we 'll drive out there this weekend .
thenn weds comes . && she talks to her husbands sister tht lives in arizona .
she tells her about cheap houses blah blah blah .
so then it becomes .
oh , its cheap out there .
im tired of california .
were qoinq to qo look out in arizona .
so , now her minds preety mush set on jus up and leavinq to arizona .
no reqardss to angelicass life .
&& itss not even tht i expect her to live her life around me .
i just wanted one year , jus one !
to get back on my feet and move out .
&& not in another fuckinq state !
lol .

mannn .
it dont even matter .
my lifee is just tossed in ther air .
idk what im bout to do .
or where im gonna qo .
im soo juss mannnn .
:'[
i cant stop cryinqq .
i dont wanna jus upp && leavee everythinq i know .
to start a new lifee .
somewheree i dont know .
idc about shit .
i just dont wanna leavee my bf .
even tho he 's qoinq into servicee in sept .
i juss dont wanna leave durinq my lass 8 monthss to be with him ,
whatever .
idk .
im lost .
&& confused .
&& id ont have anyone to stay with out here in california.
well southern .
i could always move back to the bay with my dad .
bt idnt wanna do tht either .
this is jus stressful .
i had 09 all planned out .
and was happy for a new chanqee .
bt i DID NOT expect thiss kind of changee .
smh .