farewell my lovee ,

[siqhh .]
thiss bloqq hass nothinqq to do withh everyonee elsee
&& everythinq to do withh my first REAL && last lovee .
thiss is to himm .
thesee are my final wordss .
i dont evenn know where to start .
ive literally been thinkinq for hourss && hourss .
about what im qonna say , && how im qonna say it .
so manyy thouqhtss && soo manyy memoriess .
i just dont understandd yuu . . .

it took four monthss for yuu to fall inn && out of lovee .
all the thinqss yuu told me .
all the thinqss i believedd .
all the thinqss i did .
all the thinqss yuu did .
so many memoriess .
&& now its just ,
over .

im not qonna tell yuu anythinqq yuu already know .
yuu know how i feel about yuu so theress no need to repeat myself .
i just never thouqht we would end for this reasonn .
i never thouqht yuu would feel , how yuu feel .
im not qonna talk shit about her ,
bcuss i dont know her . && maybee she doess somethinq i dont .
bt onee thinq i can promisee yuu tht she cant do ,
is lovee yuu likee i lovee yuu .
no onee cann .
myy lovee for yuu is likee ;
a mother && childd , qrandmother && qrandchildd :
never endinq .
every word , sentencee , thinq i ever toldd yuu i was alwayss
150% reall withh yuu .
id ridee for yuu && id diee for yuu .
&& i still wouldd ,
till the day i diee .

my biqqest problem ,
or well ,
hardest thinq for me to try and understand is whyy yuu lied to me soo
muchh durinq tht time yuu kneww yuu didnt wanna be with me anymoree .
we hadd tht conversationn , where i toldd yuu
i was scaredd cuss i had faith we'd make it , bt i was scared we wouldnt cuss of all my previous relationshipss didnt . i told yuu i jus wanted to be with yuu forever .
&& yuu listened ,
&& your response , "i wanna be wit you forever too."
knowinq that you didnt .
smh .
whyy do me like tht ?
im listeninq to you complete me [keyshia cole] .
&& you told me to listen to it .
i wishh i never did .
i remember everythinq yuu wrotee onn your paqee word for word .
beforee yuu deleted it .
i believedd everythinqq you ever told mee .
was i beinq naivee to trust the only person i love ?
how do yuu lovee someonee "moree thann anythinq" ,
bt walk away ?

yuu kneww yuu were the most important thinqq inn my lifee .
&& your selfishh wayss jus said , fuck me && how i felt .
or maybee yuu just dont really care=/
i wishh i kneww what i did wronq .
i wishh you wouldve told mee when thinqss started chanqinq so
i couldve tryedd to save myself .
bt maybee it was inevitablee .

&& as biqq as a crybby as i am
lol .
i havent really cryedd til i started typinq this .
i havee so muchh to try to express && i wishh you would understand .
bt no sonq could explain it .
no person .
not evenn the wordss im typinq can explainn or express how i feel .
i just wishh i could show youu .

all i ever wanted to do was lovee you .
&& i do .
bt you dont want my lovee anymoree.
&& i thought you would never stop wantinq it .
&& i quess im jus foolishh for believinq nothinq could ever qo wronq .

im not qonna beq for yuu to comee back .
im not qonna wishh you lovedd me moree .
cus what yuu dont want someonee elsee will right ?

i went out last nitee ,
&& yuu know i forgot what it was likee to havee niqquhs in my facee tryna get what they
couldnt havee .
bt really ,
they could havee it .
&& i met this really nicee quy .
he madee me smilee && everythinq .
bt in every silencee of our conversationn .
i couldnt help bt think of yuu =/
&& thts how i kneww it wasnt time for me to movee onn just yet .

yet .
im not qonna up && find a new niqquh ,
cus to be honest im still in lovee withh yuu .
bt ,
i just needed to get this off my chest so i can close this chapter && walk away .
knowinq i gavee yuu all tht i couldd .
so as muchh as i wanna hatee yuu for all the timess youu hurt me && madee me cryy .
i dont .
youu qavee me a lifee lessonn .
you taught me how to lovee without limitss .
i dont think i could ever lovee anyone as much as i love yuu zahkeem .
bt when yuu lovee somethinq , sometimess yuu qotta let it qo .

&& i dont want ANYBODY to think yuu werent a qood personn .
cuss yuu were the most beautiful person i ever met .
on so many levelss .
bt shit happenss i quess .
i wishh yuu the best bby .
alwayss && forever .
i lovee youu .

[p$] whenn yuu have kidss . if yuu name any of them any of our namess
ima personally come and beat yo ass , lol . jus playinn bby . havee a nicee lifee thoo :-*