aw , fck it .

whyy do ppl insist onn trynaa be funny whenn im in a fckedd up mood ?
is it not obviouss all over my facee , i dont wanna be botheredd?
im miserable . && everyoness happy .
i was all qood earlier . then he hit my soft spot . then he hit the juqular .
im numb at the moment . whichh is qood - for now .
i have so many emotionss qoinq throuqh me i dont know whether im mad , sad , happy , amused, pissed, suprized , shit .
for the most part im sick .
cant eat , cant sleep .
smh .
yeaaa , tht episodee .
how did i fall so deep ?
uqhhhhh .
i was so happy to be so deep .
how did thiss qo so wronq .
i probably wouldnt even be trippin thiss hard if i actually KNEW what happened .
that ceased the relationship .
im playinq it cool .
tryinq =] .
yuu qotta qimme somee credit .
all my mtfuckinn friendss are mia so theree NOT makinq the situation ANY better . cuz i have no one to talk to , to keep my mind off it .
im juss likee uqhhh .
whyy dont ppl ever appreciate what they have ? they always want somethinq different . theres not one , not two , bt THREE other niqquhss that say they love me .
but nopee .
i dont love them ,
him .
&& right now he isnt lovinq me back .
thiss is horrible .
my homiee was lauqhinq at me earlier .
bt i really dont find anythinq funny .
im readyy to pop the fuck off && kill somebodyy .
iff yuu placedd me besidee a bridgee in my mindstatee,
i miqht juss "accidently" fall the fck off .
im so juss mannn .
whtss tht sayinnn ? theress nothinq worsee thenn a woman scornedd ?
some shit .
lol .
aint tht the truthh .
i wouldnt advise qivinq me keys to the car , a bottle of drank && a qunn .
whooo knowwwwwwss what could happen .
lol .
i have no time for tht tho .
im takinq this as a learninq lesson .
one i dont fuckin want .
but i qot .
im dealinq .
im qrowinq .

i just dont understand whyy hess treatinq me like shit .
so cruel . when yuu love someone yuu just dont treat them badd dammit .
i could never treat himm how he's treatinq me .
but i quess thats jus another justification to howw i alwayss said i lovedd himm moree than he loveed mee .
i couldd never quite explain how muchh tht is . how do yuu explainn a feelinq so stronq ?
how do yuu explain selflessness && awe ?
now , im sittin heree lookinq dumb .
&& the next bxtchh is happy cuss im no lonqer theree .

i dont wanna cryy , bt im so damn madd ,
i cant really keep the tearss back .
i just wanna screamm , do somethinq stupidd .
but im not .
im just qonna breathee .
cuss tomorrowss a new dayy .
&&theress alwayss a neww wayy .
im done .

1 comment:

nt skinne n e mo said...

dang, he really got you going thru it. i hope you dont do n e thing crazy.

i understand how you feel about loving someone so much & then havng other dudes all in ur ear but all you want is him but he doesnt appericate he have a good thing. MAN !!

&& no one seems to understand.

love is complicated & its hurts at times.

i hope you get over this phase & you guys get to talk it out.