i havee nothinqq better to do at the moment but runn my mouthh && bloqq .
considerinqq my mindd is runninq a billion thouqhtss a secondd .
&& i qot my beyoncee slappinn -- soo empowerinq :)
so i qot some quick questionss ......
how comee , riqht whenn youve convincedd yerself ; yu 've found that special someone thats "different" thann the rest ; they do somn to provee they aint ?
whyy do ppl lie ? whyy do ppl cheat ? why are ppl never satisfied ? why doess someone new makee yuu wanna leavee someone yuu already havee ?
whyy dont ppl enjoy commitment ? why do ppl plan futuress toqetherr if they dont plann on pursuinq them ? why do ppl say thinqs they dont mean ?
why do quyss always feel the need to lie to makee yuu lovee them more? whyy do they sell yuu dreamss ? whyy do they want yuu to be there forever then tell yuu your too much ?
how aree yuu too muchh bt not enouqh ? how come ppl tht have damn near perfect relationshipss ; never last . bt ppl tht arque everydayy && havee 7287482 issuess , lasst for yearss ?
whyy do ppl fall inn lovee , whenn it isnt quaranteed in return ? whyy do ppl alwayss feel like payback is the best optionn to hurt the person they love ?
so im thinkinqq , karmaa is ma bxtchh . i alwayss keep her in mind . but im puttinq her into this predicament , &&im wonderinq if i ever did anythinq to deserve thiss ? &&&&&&&&& ive come to the conclusionn that.......
i never took advantaqe of anyoness feelinqss , i did hurt someone - cuz i didnt wanna be with them anymoree . but that was a abusive relationship , && i left him for the love of my life ,
so im assuminqq that was the better choice, correct ?
correct ! so i dont think this is a repercussion of her work .
qodds fate i quess ??? =/
uqhhhh ! he be throwinn the craziest shxt at yuu i swear . likee ,
how yuu qon qivee me somethinn tht makess me soo happy , thenn take it away ?
testinqq my strenth i quesss . maybee im relyinq too muchh on hiss happiness ?
he holdss me toqether for the most part . i have very little friendss . && most of em are all maless .
cuz i dont wnna here a femaless point of vieww , theyy juss qon say some shit tht pisses me off ,
likee weelllll "do yuu think hess cheatinq ?" like hmmm letss seeee , sure i think he is !
smh . the fuck .
not sayinq all quyss have the best advicee cuz they either [a] havee a honest opinion , [b] havee a jealouss opinionn , or [c] have a plain WRONG opinionn .
i'd ratherr heree a quyss point of vieww . plain && simplee .
i had a homiee i used to alwayss talk too , but he started to likee me so i had to cut tht shit off .
i qotta another friend tht has the straight up niqquh thinq to say- "ohh lifee qoess on , tht aint the only niqquh left" , thenn i qotta homiee who i absolutely adoree becuss he alwyss keeps it 100 ; he's likee mee =] thts mah niqquh . fo reall . && hess m.i.a so i have no one to talk to .
im sad . i havee no output . whichhh is whyyy im juss typinq it all out .
im not qonna sit here && act like im all qravyy . when i aint .
im not as sad as i was earlier . bt fuuuck . thiss is juss unexpectedd .
wtf am i supposedd to do to clear my head ?
i dont wanna meet any new niqquhs cuz im still in lovee .
i could talk to someone tht likess me tht ive knownn && knowss about my bf ,
but nope .
thts jus qonna be sex . && i dont want tht .
am i supposedd to juss be like sadd or somn ?
i dont wanna be bitter .
im too sweet .
real shit .
i miss uss .
&&im tiredd or prayinqq to qod about certain shit [ily qod ]
bt yuu aint answerin my prayerss !
i prayedd for somn so badd lass nitee - && i qot the complete oppositee .
i never been in a predicament wheree it was so hardd to do somethinq .
i' ve been called naivee , && thiss is like damn , maybe i amm .
cuz i keep believinqq everythinq he sayss cuz i trust himm && it all falls downn .
i qot in my depressed state about lifee && the niqquh calledd me pyscho !
i was likee bby ! im not crzy ! wtf .
i was jus sadd .
it really wasnt funny .
bt now it iss .
bt it isnt really .
all i havee are memoriess .
&& itss likee . itss not the end for us , so he saysss .
but to me , it feels like it iss .
i wonderr ...............
3 days ago