loveless .

"i know that i love you but let me jst say, i don't wanna love you in no
kind of way. no, i don't wanna broken heart. i don't wanna be the
brokenhearted girl..noo, noo"

tht song is on repeat in my head. im past my limit . idc anymore, i jst
don't. i don't feel loved anymore... i can't even love him anymore.
what's the point? we can't even be friends bc of this new relationship.
wht am i loving him for? someone already took that position, now we cnt
even be friends !?? whts the point of loving or caring? the relationship
no longer has any meaning. im numb. i can't cry, i cnt be mad, can't be
sad. i jst don't care anymore. its like whatever to fkn everything. i
don't wanna be in love anymore and idc if anyone ever loves me again in
life. love is like a disease tht jst cripples yu. its all great gets you
all high , then when tha high is gone yu hit rock bottom and the pain
jst fks yu up all over. i mean i cnt dwell upon wtf went wrong bt i
loved entirely too hard to end up with nothing. i know i fkd up bt not t
h a t bad ! not to deserve this. how tf am i ever supposed to trust
someone tell me they love me when someone tht i trusted more than
anybody i know, tht loved me first, and i believed loved me jst as much
as i did them fell out and now nothings the same? i don't care if im
ever in another realtionship again if thts what it takes to protect my
heart cus ill never let another person break it again. im not bitter, i
jst dnt care anymore. everytime i think im in love i get hurt. its jst
old now . im not dealin anymore. and im stuck w. either dealin w. niggas
that only wanna fk pretty girls or being stuck friends w. people i like
bc they don't wanna ruin tha friendship. ooh weeelll.

i wish i had a friend right now. i don't have anyone. guess its jst me &
god left. cus people sure don't last long . my stomach is in knots frm
holdin in all the emotion bt i cnt even cry. tears dnt do sht bt make yu
more emotionally exhausted and don't solve shit. so, yea . ill be on my
way now. i trust no one and nothing . everythings deceiving. ill keep
myself satisfied one day at a time & stay true to myself cus im always
gonna be the only person that wont disappoint my feelings or my ♥. i
guess the only person i can love is me. gn.

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