im sick . of going thru tha saaame shit over & over & over .
im done . i could continue to try .
& i know that if we tryedd reeeeally hard .
we could be perfect .
i shouldn't have to try that hard . it should be easy .
like my sisters grandmother said ,
" if you have to try extra hard for a relationship to work , its not
worth it . love comes naturally . "
and although i feel our love is natural . and its already there so were
not working towards love . were working hard to keep it .
im trying way too hard to keep our relationship to my satisfaction .
when we first got together we never argued . then when they started i
tryed to avoid them by always apologizing . or taking tha blame . even
tho he`d admit when he was wrong even tho i made him be right . i
admired that .
now we argue practically everyday . there is no avoiding it . tough love
? i no longer care whether he's mad . im mad too shit !
i wont even get into why were not talikng anymore bcus im not gonna put
his business out on here although he already hates tha fact i put our
relationship on blast on here 0>:-D
but anywhoo . i think it could be the end . he apologized and i wanted
to accept n take him back but i couldn't . that would be contradicting
what i keep tellin myself NOT to do . smh .
its crazy . cus no matter what he does to me . i always forgive him and
give him another chance . smh @ myself . its a love thing . i guess .
i mean . i forgive him for what he did this time .
im just not taking him back .
i need to try something else .
i know me and him could work . but i don't feel like right now is tha
right time .
he's not ready .
idc how many times he tells me he is cus he's not showing me .
who knows maybe if he matures n tha future and one day we run into each
other and tha oppurtunity is right sparks a fly again & we could be back
cus ill prolly never stop loving him .
bt only tha future knows .
til thenn im doin me and doin what makes ME happy :)
& we all know what makes me happy ;)