day one - july 4th, 2010.

well tnite's my first nite in vegas ..nothings changed bc i still cnt
sleep so im jst up thinkin , watching tv...the drive went good except i
kept nodding out -_- like how tf do yu nod out while driving?? and like
i was trying so hard to stay awake smh. but we made it safe, it only
took us abt 2 and a half hrs to unpack tha truck so tht was reeeally
good for this weather lol. i didn't even get tht blk :) it was nice
seein my fam, right now im at my aunts house bc i wanted to sleep in a
bed after all tht work and she's giving me tha bed in her guest bedroom
! :) im sooo happy i dnt have to buy a mattress now lol. and this bed is
soo bomb, i cnt wait to fall asleep!...bt i cnt..maybe i need to jst put
my headphones in and sing til i fall...i jst have a lot of thoughts ,
about random things...im confident about this transition hopefully i
find a job bc i really want and need one.. now that im in vegas i dnt
really care tht ppl actin brand new simply bc im hundreds of miles away
now like oh well. i miss certain people. no names...i tlkd to james
today.. he tld me one of his homies was murdered and i feel horrible. he
was only 18! that's still a baby smfh. im so upset at what the world is
like, how do people jst kill people for unnecessary reasons? the only
way i think murder is ever justifiable is in self defense of defense for
another ... like no one should choose or wish death upon anyone elses
life except god. im worried abt him emotionally i wanted to be there
more ,bt i didn't really kno what to say..i wanted to jump back into the
"bby" mode bt i had to catch myself. everytime something emotionally
stressful happens i find myself callin or wanting to call him babe or
bby. i tlkd to him bt i jst told him id give him his space and im here
if he needs me and he knws tht...i hope he's okay tho, he's been going
thru a lot lately so i hope he stays focused and strong..bt yeaa i need
to get some sleep , im sure ill be getting into something tmw, happy
july 4th loves, gn .