july 7th , 201O.

I've been trying to recollect myself and my heart lately, i spent last
night and this morning trying to get everything off my chest to james
jst trying to get everything off so i can say its nothing left unsaid.
it kind of helped bt not really. he said he needs to give me more time
bc he knows im not ready or healed and that's something i know but i
asked him i mean how do you tell yourself to fall outta love? that's the
hardest thing bc you can't control emotions that's something that's
uncontrollable but i can't say im not trying. i can talk about it
without crying now. i jst get pissed off lol. i don't wanna get mad
though, that's something i have no control over you know.. im jst takin
it one day at a time.

im still trying to figure out why i even still care abt him when there's
about a million niggas that wish they could have me or be with me. for
example someone i don't like bt let give me head called me tonite and i
wasn't gonna answer bt i didn't kno who's number it was so i answered
and guess who it was? yep , him. so he's like where have you been ?! i
thought i was never gonna tlk to you again blah blah blah. so he asked
for my facebook and this nigga added me in abt 2.3 seconds lol no lie.
then left me a comment tlkin bout im his cup of tea and when i get back
im his lol even had tha audacity to say he was glad he ate me out
hahahaha i was like -_-. hahahhaa guys are crzy but its funny . i enjoy
this attention. too bad i can't take anything he says seriously . he's
not anybody i could take or wanna take seriously . lol bt ill take the
entertainment ...

anyways there was a main purpose for this blog bt im on tha phone and
textin so i cnt focus ill repost later.

ps - todays brandons 1 month anniversary since he passed :( i miss him
man , ily cuhkzo.

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