poem # 9 .

thoughts are cluttering my mind , so unkind .
i love him soo muchh ,
can`t seem to leave him behind
as my eyes start to get hot from built up confusion
tears burn lines of emotions down my face .
there isn`t enough time to find all the causes
no matter how much i spend trying
equations and suggestions
advice and questions
and the only solution i get is :reality
there is no longer a you and me
and i realize that ,
but my heart refuses to grasp that
it won`t set you free
you were my first love
and that love that blinded me
because i wasn`t prepared to see all tha things
i was supposed to be
i gave you all of me , instead of focusing on things
i should be
then over time realized i could never make you
love me tha way i wanted you to
you just loved me tha only way you
knew how to
and maybe im expecting more than you can give me
constantly drifting off into fantasies
of "you & me`s"
hoping for the best , bt prolly "wont ever be`s"
why can`t i let you go ?
all i wanna do is grow .
and yes, i chose to be w. him
bt i just wanna let you know
that no matter what direction we go
i love you soo much moree than youll ever know .