10.11.08

insecuritiesss.

insecurities.
everyonee has emm.
evenn if theyy act likee theyy dont.

i feel likee theree my onlyy setback, lookinq at myself.
i havee soo manyy evenn thouqhh most peoplee dont see themm.
i think it stems from myy childhood. whyy i think so neqativelyy about myself...
whichh is really sadd. becausee in realityy i still shouldnt feel that wayy as an adult.

im insecuree about...
my beauty. my size. my shape. my smile. how i am comparedd to other ppl.
my wholee self imaqee. &&i wishh i wasnt but i amm.
everyonee always tells me im pretty. im not that biq. or i have a pretty smilee..
&&evenn thouqhh it makes me smilee && i appreciate the compliment.
in the back of my mind im thinkinq to myself....what do they see that i dont :/
its so irritatinq. i mean i know im not uqlyy. but i dont think im all tht pretty either.
&&idk whyy.

my bby thinks im "the prettiest qirl on earthh" [his words. not mines] lol. he makes me feel likee idk. im soo fckinn beautiful. he always tells me how pretty i am. &&likee evenn tho it makess me feel so special && lovee him so much moree. i qet mad at myself for not seeinq the same thinq.
lol. he thinks im conceited cuz i takee so many pictures, but in all honestyy i think i take so many pictures to try to convincee myself that I AM pretty. idk.

i think its a constant struqqle for self lovee. evenn thouqh its really somethinq yuu should be bornn &&raised withh. im not knockinq my parents cuz my mom && adults always said i was pretty when i was little but i jus never believed themm. silly mee. mother knows best.

i think its timee to enjoy lovinq myself for me for once tho. stop beinq so blindd && see what other people see. i miqht actually likee it :]

3 comments:

-- niecey boo * said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
-- niecey boo * said...

i feel you on this 110%, boo .
& i feel the exact same way ..
its always qood to know i'm not alone ♥

Janeen Mesmerize said...

i agree with you hun.. i feel like this all the time.. it's like i look in the mirror and i'm like ahhh i feel so low. I think it's something we all go through.. keep your head up..