smh .

im doing it again .
im trying so hard to let go and move forward .
ive convinced myself i need to but i still find myself
looking at pictures or reading how he felt months ago .
i know everything happens for a reason or the way its supposed to but idk how something so perfect went so wrong .
smh .
its crazy , reading how he felt when i fucked up .
it still makes me tear up cus i feel like i couldve not fkd up and maybe things would stiill be perfect . . .or maybe they wouldnt and we'd still be where we are today .
i dont even know if he still loves me the same .
i think ive pushed him so much he doesnt care anymore .
i wanna cry , but that would be pointless . tears dont solve anything .
i guess this is just finishing off my growing process .
all my "heartbreaks" before added up still doesnt amount to the pain i feel without him .
i cant even grasp why it hurts so damn bad .
i cant even let go .
smh . whatever tho , it is what it is .
i just hope hes happy .
im trying .