what never will be . smh @ myself . shame .
me & james agreed to be friends like we used to be . and its not hard ,
i mean i can't force the way i feel to go away bt i figure i can try . i
settled , broken heart and all that shit . im not all distraught tho ,
I've been tryna move forward . I've been chillin w. this boy lately . he
makes me laugh , i like his personality , bt i can't really see us
together . he's looking for a relationship and im not . we haven't done
anything together , not even a kiss so its easy for me . i know he
really likes me but I've been in denial abt likin him . i know i dnt
like him as much as he likes me . i think im just enjoying the flirting
and the attention . *shrugs .* so sue me shit . i actually been meetin a
lot of dudes lately just nobody special . shit , after tlkin to other
dudes it just makes me miss james to be honest lol . today I've just be
layin around listenin to music and having side convos , and in the
meantime reminscing on our relationship . pictures , conversations ,
shit like that . its prolly better to let it go but i don't want to . im
okay with it bc i know there a slim to none chance we ever get back
together . so its whatever . shit im considering going to the college of
southern nevada next fall so i can major in what i want . gotta move on
w. life . im jst nt sure cus even tho i have aloot of fam in vegas and
there's lots of shit to possibly get into . i don't even like vegas !
lol . idk even know what type of niggas vegas has . i hope they have my
type :) lol . prolly very few . whatever , ill find :)
in other newss , i haven't had sex in a little over a month andddd im
fenna go crazy . I've had plenty of bouts of celibacy so its usually
easy but dammit man , my body is like "touch me , touch me !" smh . i
don't really wanna have sex with anyone , i really only wanna have sex
with oneperson bt i doubt very highly that's gonna happen , anytime soon
anyways . so I've been weighing other options . and i still haven't
decided .im not even sure if i wanna try to have sex yet . i might wanna
wait , but at the same time i really wanna be touched . lol . (don't
judge me ) whatever . if it happens then it will . im gladd my period
started on friday lol cus all my lil boos been hittin me up and i dnt
wanna have no mishaps lol . god does tht everytime , like clockwork .
keeps me focused . so yeaa that's pretty much all i have to complain
about thanks . bye .
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