withheld emotions .

so im most famous for my extreme emotional posts.
I've been trying to withhold myself from doing so ,
but i have nuthing better to do than vent .
i miss him like crazy .
today i didn't have school and btween trying to force myself to sleep
for as long as i could ,
i couldn't keep my mind off him .
i found myself fantasizing about cuddling .
kissing him , holding him , feeling his breath on my neck ,
his hands on my body , his 'i love yous' in my ear .
:) intense , i know .
im scared to get my hopes up that he's coming home in a month bc if he
doesn't ill be crushed .
when i reminisce on memories , my eyes tear .
I've been doing good tho .
when i get sad i end up talking his cousins ear off talking about him
lol.
but i appreciate him for listening cus he never complains
he just lets me talk and says nice things.
i feel good loving james and being able to tell people how much i do .
i never felt this good in my life , even apart i can still feel his love
.
i can feel him missing me . i know he misses me .
i wanna run and jump into his arms .
give him endless love and just get stuck there .
i never get tired of being in love , or giving it .
i never get tired of the butterflies or tha smiles ,
tha laughs or tha high i get from his love .
i know its real :) its real ! lol
i never thought id find it .
i been lied to , played , cheated on ect. while all believing i was in
love .
and i was . but i was in love by myself . i can't say tht the
niggas tht claimed to love me didn't , bt im gonna say that i know they
didn't love me anywhere neaaar the way james loves me .
he's one of a kind .
i swear to god i wouldnt rather be with anyone else in the world .
i wouldnt trade him for a million dollars lol .
he really makes me the happiest girl in the world .
im thankful that i have such a wonderful person as my man .
im more than happy to share my life with him .
im his world and he's my universe :) lol .
ok ok , im done wit all tha sappy shit ahaha.
but i love him tho .
and i can't wait for you to come home baby :-*