Ill never...

Have answers. Never understand. Never comprehend. Never want. Never need. Never love...like that again.

Its been months, weeks, days...and when i think about him, See him loving someonee else...tears still fall, i still feel pain. I cnt understnd how i gave away so much of myself that its taking me this long to gt me all back. Why do i still care? Why does love still swim in my soul? Ive let it go but then i have these moments whn i know i havent. I know theres no future. No hope. I stopped trying months.ago...but i still carry it with me. We dnt even tlk everyday anymore..eventually we prlly wont be in each others lives but i still live with the pain from a broken heart....and the worst part is i dnt even hate him. I have the tendancy to always blame things on myself..Nd idk why..he hates when i do it..i look at it like maybe if i had done this diff or did tht better...when the reality of it is i did nothing wrong, i gave my all... we jst werent meant to be together. It shouldnt be this hard to come to terms with that. But it is. How i let myself be so naiive to believe everything would really last forever. Forever is not realistic but i expected so much more frm our relationship thn i got. Idk why i feel like every girl he loves after me, he loves more than he did me. I gave too much of myself. I get a piece back everyday bt i wish it didnt take so long... i just want that feeling of love back...tht happiness. Tht feeling of someone complimenting my soul. I lost everything with my heart nd after this pain, i hope with time i get everything back.

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