hollow.

you give and you give, bt you get back nothing like you give.
you want bt never accomplish.
hope but never grasp.
have faith bt it never comes...
it wasn't meant to be.
you can try and try to make it happen, make it work but it just
doesn't.
there's no destiny.
you lose hope, you lose faith, yu dnt believe. you start
doubting..eventually you stop loving.
what's love if your not getting back what your putting out?
besides heartache. besides disappointment. besides looking stupid.
you try to stay loyal to love and hopee it comes through for you...
it doesn't. why? because its not love.
what you thought was love isn't love anymore its mixed emotions.
its doubt.
its weighing why i should stay versus why i should go.
the reasons for leaving outweigh staying, yet the reasons for staying
seem to sound so much more gratifying..
its a bunch of bullshit.
its like being stuck on a merry go round you can't get off of. you been
on it so long you know what to expect bt you still let the same shit
surprise you...you never adapt.
im so tired of all this. the ups tht last for moments, the downs tht
last for moments. im drained.
why keep loving something tht doesn't love you back.
why keep trying to make something work tht doesn't.
why believe the hype.
the hype sounded so much better when i had hope.
things are failing when you dnt believe..when you dnt trust.
im so intelligent. so smart. so young. so beautiful. so hopeful. so
loving. so insecure. so unhappy. so naiive. so foolish. so unloved. so
disappointed. so unsatisfied. so empty.
i dnt know whether im living or dying.
somedays im so full of life..i have something.
others im numb..i feel nothing..i have nothing.
everything you grow up hoping and wishing for are jst
disappointments...it takes a lifetime to achieve happiness and maybe
even longer than that....
i didn't think i would fall back comatose in unhappiness...
i spent 2 months trying.
maybe i succeeded for the most part..bt i dnt feel like i am.
i don't feel as though i knoww anything anymore...
maybe im jst a loss cause.
whatever.